Roberts, a civilized man, eventually forced his crew (the same crew who captured him months earlier) to agree to a strict 11-point code of conduct, including articles like no gambling for money, no women on board, lights go out at 8 p.m., keep your shit clean and "If any man rob another he shall have his nose and ears slit, and be put ashore where he shall be sure to encounter hardships."
For such a strict man, he sure did have a happy little flag.
Barbarossa Says Fuck It, Starts Own Nation
When you look at movie or TV pirate captains, they're always lucky if they have one ship and a few dozen men to follow their orders. It turns out some real-life pirates had it slightly better than that. Ottoman pirate Hayreddin "Redbeard" Barbarossa didn't just have his own fleet -- he had his own damn country.
A land of rape, pillage and magnificent beards.
Barbarossa started out as a legitimate merchant sailor in the 16th century, but was forced to flee the Eastern Mediterranean after backing the wrong candidate for sultan. Becoming a pirate, he started attacking Christian ships around what's now Tunisia until his enemies took his base, leaving him homeless once again. Tired of getting kicked out of countries all the time, Barbarossa went ahead and started one for himself: the Regency of Algiers (present-day Algeria, Tunisia and parts of Morocco). He did this by pledging alliance to the Ottoman sultan and getting in return enough ships and weapons to blow the shit out of whoever lived there before him.
The exact number of ships is unknown, since it was more than anyone could draw.
How big of a deal did this guy become? Let's put it this way: At one point, Barbarossa single-handedly defeated the combined forces of Venice, the Vatican, Genoa, Spain, Portugal and Malta during the Battle of Preveza (1538), and by "single-handedly" we mean it was just him and 122 ships he commanded.
"Jack Sparrow can eat a dick!"
For more pirate adventures, check out Yosomono at the Gaijinass website or follow him on Twitter @Gaijinass.
For more badasses you may have forgotten about, check out The Badass Roots of 5 Sissy Dogs and 6 Real People With Secret Identities Nobody Saw Coming.
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