HARD TO KILL!
7 Historical Figures Who Were Absurdly Hard to Kill
Hard to Kill. Like the Steven Segal movie? And maybe that Weird Science chick was also in it? Oh, no one here saw Hard to Kill? God damn philistines.
Notable Comment: Onodera says "Very funny and well written, but not entirely accurate. But it's hard to care when you're laughing." Wouldn't it be nice if all the commenters had that attitude. Yes, yes it would. But, then, this wouldn't be the internet, would it.
The 6 Most Retarded Gaming Consoles Ever Released
We tried to combine Atari and Retarded. Is that clear? Did that come across alright? Or...you don't even care, do you? You're probably only checking the Round-Up to see if you made the notable comment or the Editor's Choice for craptions. Sigh.
Notable Comment:Boy, you nerds sure do take your shitty video game systems seriously. That is just awful.
5 Cosmic Events That Could Kill You Before Lunch
You might not even be able to read this, because we might all be dead! Isn't that neat? All of us being dead to something totally random and completely out of our control? (We're a comedy website!)
Notable Comment:Tobias complains "It is way past lunch time and i'm not dead yet. I think you guys owe me money because I just bought 20 hookers to keep me company." Sorry dude. We promise, sometime next week, we'll all be dead, or your money back.