The 6 Most Pointlessly Elaborate Movie Murder Plots
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When you really need something done, the simplest method is almost always the best. But don't tell that to Hollywood bad guys, who can't seem to kill a single victim without planning out a complex, Rube Goldberg-style sequence that's almost sure to end in failure. So, we get criminal masterminds using methods like... #6.
Stuntman Mike's Stunt Car in Death Proof
Stuntman Mike, from Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's ambitious bomb Grindhouse, seduces beautiful women who have nothing better to do but hang out in hole-in-the-wall bars in Middle of Nowhere, Texas.
Then he kills them, either by giving them a ride in the front seat of his stunt car (the driver seat is "death proof" but the rest of the car isn't) and crashing it, or just running them off the road. The Problem: Every plan results in his own car getting bashed to pieces. That means every time he scores a kill, he has to come back and rebuild the engine, put in a new suspension, get new brakes, shocks, axles, rebuild the transmission and who knows what else. All of this is after he's released from the hospital, of course.
But that doesn't touch on the most obvious problem: his insurance premiums. We don't even think Geico is going to be all that understanding after about the 12th woman turns up dead in one of his "accidents." Prepare for some skeptical looks from the claims guy, Mike. A Better Way: He convinces the drunken hotties to give him a lap dance to some R&B tunes, and then shoots them in the face. #5.
The Cube in Cube
If you haven't seen this cult classic, basically it's Saw, except it doesn't involve a saw. It involves a cube. A group of random people find themselves trapped in a cube-shaped maze, with no memory of how they got there. As the team moves through the cube, they find that some rooms are safe and some are booby trapped.
One room sprays acid on its victims, another one has retractable spikes, another juliennes its victims with cheese wire. The Problem: In order to truly understand a murder plot, it's important to understand the motive. And, after watching the entire movie, there doesn't seem to be any. The creation or creator of the Cube is never explained, and neither is the reason for these particular people being trapped there. In other words, the message is that life's a bitch and then you get a face full of acid.
But let's just assume for the sake of argument that the Cube's creator intended to teach people how to work together by putting them in a situation they could only escape from by pooling their resources, skills and knowledge. Wouldn't it be simpler and cheaper to just send them to a team-building weekend in the woods where they could learn the same things by crossing rope ladders and solving toothpick puzzles?
And if that is indeed the lesson, how are they going to spread their message when they are all dead and the only guy who makes it out alive is the one with autism? A Better Way: The Cube's creator points a gun in the face of his victims and tells them to "Cooperate, dammit!" Then he shoots all of them, minus the autistic one, in the face. #4.
The Remote-Controlled Car Bomb in The Dead Pool
The Dirty Harry series officially ran out of steam by the fourth film in the franchise, and then it jumped the shark in a remote control car. In The Dead Pool, a serial killer is once again stalking the streets of San Francisco, killing people to rig a "dead pool" (a betting pool on what famous person will die next). Dirty Harry Callahan is on the list and the killer decides the best way to off the 60-year-old man is by going after him with an explosive radio controlled car.
Unfortunately, the killer doesn't realize that Dirty Harry's actual car can out run the radio controlled car, so a chase ensues with Dirty Harry's car, the killer's car and the killer's tiny RC car, which he is controlling with perfect ease while driving his own, full-sized vehicle. Think of it as Bullitt if it were written by a small, confused child. The Problem: Just think about the amount of time that had to go into making a remote controlled car-bomb, and somehow making that car run fast enough to nearly keep up with a real car. Then at the end of all that effort, you still have a device that can be thwarted by something as simple as a curb or a small dog.
A Better Way: Show Dirty Harry your ridiculous killer remote control car. While he's distracted by his derisive laughter, shoot him in the face. |
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Ok, first, in almost every single one of these movies, for the antagonists its never about the actual killing but, the act in wich they perform it. By your logic there is no reason for Hannibal Lecter to ever eat anyone if he could just kill them all. Secondly, obviously you weren't paying attention at the end of "Smokin' Aces", at all.
Ok, first, in almost every single one of these movies, for the antagonists its never about the actual killing but, the act in wich they perform it. By your logic there is no reason for Hannibal Lecter to ever eat anyone if he could just kill them all. Secondly, obviously you weren't paying attention at the end of "Smokin' Aces", at all.
Joker just played things by ear.
Besides, if Batman were to end up saving Dent unharmed, the Joker would somehow meet him and maybe burn Dent himself anyway. Still, the murder plot was meant to tell a good story.
C'mon Dan! Don't be such a killjoy!
This has already been said, but because repetition is fun...
The Joker didn't have an elaborate plan, he set in motion a great number of events and adapted to the result, which could have been anything, really.
A simple solution like a bullet to the brain would have been boring, and let's face it, the Joker is, in the end, just trying to have a good time.
Well, you probably should have actually paid attention to Smokin' Aces before you bitched about it. You clearly have no understanding of the plot whatsoever.
WOW I AM SO MAD THAT A MOVIE ABOUT A GUY IN BONDAGE GEAR FIGHTING A CLOWN IS SO UNREALISTIC! I AM ALSO RETARDED!
I'm happy with the way they portrayed the Joker... well, more of how Joker acted. Definitely had that vibe of 'chaotic.'However, his plan was lacking something I'd always liked about Joker in the comics.
The Movie seemed to be: A'll happen, so B, then C, then D, and this will lead to a big pile of burning money and Batman's eternal shame! Yay!
The way it should have gone (comic book Joker): If A happens, then we move on to B. If it doesn't happen, do C, if that doesn't work, initiate multitudonous backup-plans....
His plans were usually one big Xanatos Gambit, which, to me, was why it was fun to see Batman win. Triumph in the face of physical superiority gets old and repetitive.... such as Dragon Ball Z.
To be able to fight something that chaotic and brilliant, and be able to pick apart the constant Xanatos plots Joker employs, now that's planning.
By the way, Xanatos = http://tvtropes. org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XanatosGambit
shoot them in the face? That's my thing, they always complain that it makes their eyes sting though.
I don't think the Joker's plan was completely planned like that. It was kinda he played by ear up until the whole part he got arrested. I think he foresaw that.
In Smokin' Aces, I meant to say. As if anyone didn't figure that out. ..it's early and i'm running on no sleep.
I'm not reading through all the comments to see if anyone pointed this out, but no one SENT those hitmen, they all, individually, found out about the hit on their own through random means. ...only to find out that they ALL misunderstood what the hell was going on, since they heard about from a crackly, broken recording or something.
But hey, I don't blame Danny for not understanding the plot. It's confusing.
It's entirely possible that Joker is simply making stuff up as he goes along, he has the intelligence to do so.
The key ability of Joker to get huge things into larger places seems to stem from his manipulation of the mafia and everybody's common sense. Who cares about large barrels going into a superstore? Just about everybody. Who cares about large barrels entering a warehouse... uh, nobody, that just happens anyway.
Doesn't help the ferry thing at all, but hey, somebody could be corrupted into believing they're supposed to be there, or somebody could be simply instructed not to give a damn.
I'm sure somebody like Joker could just roll with Dent being dead, Batman being dead (although he probably just figures he can't do it, just as well), that annoying b***h Rachel dying (seriously, who applauded when she died?)
Good explanation, mightymouse.
to quote the joker: "Do I look like a man with a plan?"
Pretty much summed it up for me.
@The Joker's Bomb Conundrum in The Dark Knight
This, a 1000 times over.
TDK was a major disappointment in my book (after the strong promise of BB). Sure some good performances by the cast, but the plot was so completely ass retarded throughout that long ago I'd come to the conclusion that either I'd seen a different film from all my friends, or I'd perhaps I or they had gone insane. It's nice to know there are kindred spirits out there, who aren't all "OMFG best movie Evar!!!".
"Also when are other film directors going to stop trying be Paul Greengrass with the fight sequences, and instead let us actually see the people fighting? The whole thing about Batman is that he's supposed to be an out and out ass kicker, so it would be nice occasionally to actually see him kick ass in an "woah!! Did you see that s**t!!" illegal ninja moves style occasionally.
The difference, Flashpenny, is that The Joker doesn't have some elaborate overarching plan for world domination or something. Thematically, he's a force of pure chaos, that's the role he serves in Batman mythology. That doesn't mean he has no goals, inasmuch as everyone who has any kind of philosophy has a goal, to see that philosophy borne out.
I think the confusion is the difference between coming up with a plan in the way that Dent and Gordon do and just reacting with a plan to things that come up. I don't think he necessarily planned for Dent to be disfigured so he'd become The Joker's pawn, but once he was disfigured The Joker took full advantage of it. The Joker would have been perfectly content for Dent to have killed him, and ecstatic for Batman to have done so, because it proves his point. The Joker doesn't even care about being the criminal overlord (a la the Jack Nicholson Joker), except insofar as it serves his ability to sow chaos.
The Dent and Rachel thing was also just a sadistic choice forced on Batman, that would have been done regardless of whether Joker was captured or not. (He could have phoned in the info if he wasn't arrested.) Its not completely insane for the police to have taken a bit to get there, especially if its out of the way. Police response time in any city is not insantaneous, even in dire emergencies. Beyond that, you have to do what audiences have to do in any action/sci fi/comic movie... suspend your disbelief rather than nitpicking.
Here's a note for anyone who is thinking about seeing "Cube":
Don't.
For the love of God, don't. It's really, really terrible. The only likable character is the autistic kid, who gets out alive. It is never explained properly. Kind of like "Rest Stop", but with less ghosts and plotline.
To all of you geniuses saying that the Joker has no plans that is totally untrue. He's just saying that to use Two-Face as his pawn. The Joker has 2 plans: to take over Gotham's criminal underbelly (which he succeeds) and also to prove that deep down everyone is just like him. That's what that whole ordeal with the boats was at the climax. That's why he took down Dent and made him insane. He wanted to prove that in a life-or-death scenario everyone is just like him. That is a plan. So don't take that "no plan" thing for a given.
about cube: "except for the autistic one"
SPOILER (for both of you who haven't seen it yet.)
we can always assume the the joker never planned anything and is just a master of improvisation
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Just one name, the champion of convoluted murder plots - Dr. Phibes.