Time is tight. We get that. But if your job involves any form of gathering information to be consumed by bucketloads of people, you want to make sure that your Internet searches are performed with as much attention to detail as possible. Fortunately for us, people rarely do that, and we get to tell you stories like these ...
#4. An Authorized Biography Gets the Title It Deserves
The General Petraeus scandal contains all the juicy elements the public loves: secret affairs, men in uniform, bickering, backstabbing soccer moms and enough embarrassment for the entire nation to share. But an ABC affiliate in Denver decided to take a bigger share of that particular pie when they ran this graphic during a segment about the scandal.
"It's about this wide."
To even the untrained eye, the title All Up in My Snatch should raise a few eyebrows. But what's more surprising isn't that the researcher at ABC Denver didn't immediately look at the title and think "This doesn't seem right"; it's that the actual title, All In, and the obvious innuendo had already been discussed and parodied ad infinitum. When everyone from Jay Leno to your local postal clerk has been cracking wise about the already tawdry-sounding actual title, it's pretty sloppy Google work to get it wrong.
#3. Kazakhstan Athletes Mistakenly "Honored" by Borat Again
Poor Kazakhstan. They just can't seem to catch a break. After being the feature-length punchline in the movie Borat, you'd think the country had suffered enough. But after Kazakhstani sharpshooter Maria Dmitrienko earned the gold medal for her often ridiculed homeland during Kuwait's 10th Arab Shooting Championship, it appeared that the fates decided that not quite enough humiliation had been meted out. A spoof version of the country's national anthem that originally appeared in the movie was downloaded and played at the awards ceremony.
As Dmitrienko stood atop the podium, hand over her heart, the lyrics "Kazakhstan, greatest country in the world, all other countries are run by little girls" filled the venue. And while it was obvious to Dmitrienko and anyone else who could understand English that "Kazakhstan, prostitutes cleanest in the region, except of course for Turkmenistan's" wasn't part of any official anthem, the organizers let it play through to the end. But can you blame them? After all, the last line, "Come grasp the mighty penis of our leader, from junction with testes to tip of its face" is arguably the most entertaining of the entire song.
#2. Fox News Uses Tina Fey Picture in Sarah Palin Story
Regardless of your political allegiance, most people can agree that when SNL's Tina Fey busts out her Sarah Palin impression, it's pretty spot-on. So it's understandable that some people might confuse the two. You wouldn't, however, expect those people to be Palin's employer.
Yep, that's Fox News failing to tell the difference between the politician and her famed satirical doppelganger. But honestly, we're talking about two beautiful women who just so happen to say something hilarious every time they speak. It's an easy mistake.
#1. Michael Clarke Duncan Is Dead, Long Live Seal
A Buffalo TV station added insult to the most serious injury of them all while covering the death of actor Michael Clarke Duncan. During the broadcast, multiple Getty images of British singer Seal were used as a newscaster solemnly reported the actor's death.
Each image of the very much alive singer was accompanied by the subtitle "Michael Clarke Duncan Dead at 54." We're not really sure how such an egregious mix-up like this happens, we just know that the guy who played Marsellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction deserves a much better eulogy.