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Two Dwarf Brittneys

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Gentle Reader, my cup overfloweth. For those of you who have in times of trouble doubted the existence of a merciful God, I give you proof. We share the world with not one, but two Dwarf Britney Spears impersonators.

We Jews would say if there had been but one Dwarf Brittney Spears impersonator, ‘dayeinu’, ‘It would have been enough’.

Tera Joel, the original “Mini-Brittney”, (and you cannot image the chill running down my spine just typing that phrase) no longer performs her act at Beacher’s Madhouse, Las Vegas. She has moved on and can now be found as part of the “Little Legends” show at the Harmon Theater in Krave, in what appears to be, forgive me here, a step down. What else can be said of moving to a venue where she will have to share the spotlight with a diminutive Sony Bono?

Apparently, there was some sort of rift with her manager, who has now retained the talents of a little woman known only as ‘New Mini-Britney’.

"We wish the old mini-Britney the best. I have nothing but love and respect for her. But unfortunately show business is show business. We have a new mini Britney that blows her away, that can sing and dance a thousand times better than her at Beacher's Madhouse, which is a sold out show."

I have so many questions. Will one of the Mini-Britneys shave her head and attack a Li’l Kevin Federline’s Mini Cooper on stage? Are their web sites where I can see Thumb nails of a mini-Britney's tiny privates? And when the Tera Joel, the Original Mini-Britney performs “Oops, I did it again” will the irony become so powerful, it crushes the life out of her audience at “Little Legends”?

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Max Burbank

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