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Steven Seagal Is After The FBI

Hes taken down terrorists, ninjas, street thugs and corrupt cops, but now, Steven Seagal is after the FBI and-sources close to the subject agree- this time, it's personal. In 2002, the FBI began investigating Seagal under the suspicion that he hired a private detective to scare journalists out of writing negative reviews and now The Glimmer Manis demanding an apology.

Seagal genuinely believes, evidently, that if it wasnt for the FBIs troublesome interference, his last twelve movies would have skyrocketed his career, upgrading his status from that forgettable karate guy who keeps getting fatter to Academy Award winning Megastar. Instead, all twelve movies went straight to DVD.

I can just picture him now, waiting by his phone and eating Ring Dings. Id be fucking Scarlett Johansosn on George Clooneys yacht this very second if it wasnt for that damn FBI...

I cant say I blame the FBI for wanting to destroy his career. Its very possible that Seagal brought these attacks on himself as hes previously boasted that he is both Hard to Kill as well as Above the Law, and you just can't make arrogant, outrageous claims like that and not expect some retaliation; youre really treading On Deadly Ground and putting your career Under Siege. The FBI was simply Out For Justice and you cant slight them for making an Executive Decision. What, just because you're The Prince of Pistolsyou think that you're Out of Reachof an FBI Attack Force? Guess again, Clementine.

...Half Past Dead.

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Daniel O'Brien

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