Steven Seagal Is After The FBI
Hes taken down terrorists, ninjas, street thugs and corrupt cops, but now, Steven Seagal is after the FBI and-sources close to the subject agree- this time, it's personal. In 2002, the FBI began investigating Seagal under the suspicion that he hired a private detective to scare journalists out of writing negative reviews and now The Glimmer Manis demanding an apology.
Seagal genuinely believes, evidently, that if it wasnt for the FBIs troublesome interference, his last twelve movies would have skyrocketed his career, upgrading his status from that forgettable karate guy who keeps getting fatter to Academy Award winning Megastar. Instead, all twelve movies went straight to DVD.
I can just picture him now, waiting by his phone and eating Ring Dings. Id be fucking Scarlett Johansosn on George Clooneys yacht this very second if it wasnt for that damn FBI...
I cant say I blame the FBI for wanting to destroy his career. Its very possible that Seagal brought these attacks on himself as hes previously boasted that he is both Hard to Kill as well as Above the Law, and you just can't make arrogant, outrageous claims like that and not expect some retaliation; youre really treading On Deadly Ground and putting your career Under Siege. The FBI was simply Out For Justice and you cant slight them for making an Executive Decision. What, just because you're The Prince of Pistolsyou think that you're Out of Reachof an FBI Attack Force? Guess again, Clementine.
haha
ReplyAh DOB's first article, I have been up all night and now it's 6:00am and I'm sleep deprived which is probably why I don't understnad this article.
ReplyProbably...
This is DOBs first article? Cool - now I can say I've read it.
This is by dar your worst article PP, or uh i mean DOB...
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesAnyway you suck and thank god this isnt on the same page as your bio.
And sorry you dont suck your pretty damn funny, just not as funny as gladstone.
You're a f**king idiot. GLADSTONE?
NO NO NO NO NO
It goes
DOB
Bucholz
Brockway
Seanbaby
Gladstone
Cody
Everything else
Newf*g who can't write for s**t named Bowie
DOB is definitely better than Gladstone by a long shot
Update from 3 months ago
Bowie has made some better articles and now places between Seanbaby and Gladstone.
Oh DOB, how I love to relive the old days, when you were but a spry young lass, wide eyed and full of optimism. How the times have changed, eh, old friend?
ReplyI knew "On Deadly Ground" would make corporate America nervous.
ReplyAbsolutely incredible punnage.
Reply