The Internet contains so many ways to stumble across sex that we need special tools not to find it. Without SafeSearch even the most innocent Google inquiry can become obscenely biological. But there are sites out there, like Wikipedia, that want to both house all the knowledge in the world and stay SFW. This leaves them with the awkward task of finding pictures for sex acts that look more encyclopedic than pornographic, which may explain why Wikimedia contributors often decide to draw their own. But it doesn't explain why they're so hilariously awful. There are more biologically accurate pictures of Sonic the Hedgehog screwing BB-8. Brace yourself to behold the worst entries (in some cases literally) from Wikimedia's sex drawings.
Be warned: All links on this page are really, ridiculously NSFW.
This is more artistry focused on a genetic dead end than a gallery of castrati portraits.
1st slagman/Wiki Commons (NSFW)
The only other "auto" to twist itself that hard for fun is an Autobot.
The subtle details of this picture raise more questions than they answer. Why is this guy still wearing his glasses, for one thing? NOBODY's eyesight is that bad. And what about those sandals? They've been given more attention than his elbow and knee joints. Though, to be fair, he's got to have destroyed most of those joints to get this far. It just seems strange that someone short-circuiting everything human biology has ever learned about sex would be so worried about foot protection.
The picture's caption captures more pathos than a collection of Peanuts strips sucked into a black hole: "Looks like 69 position from some angles, but minus one participant." As if the complete absence of a partner was only a minor technical variation from the 69.
Whatever answers one can gather from this work, "1st slagman" clearly found them, disappearing after uploading these and only these images to Wikipedia. What happened? We examine the autofellating clues. He's cunningly worked out how to swallow any forensic evidence, but behold the pictures:
The increasingly unlikely series of positions forces us to conclude that this man has somehow twisted himself into a singularity.
An online picture for phone sex defeats the point on more levels than Mario with a jetpack. A picture might be worth a thousand words, but these days a phone line means you almost certainly have an Internet connection, and that means you have access to infinite images of real sex. Or, if you're specifically into audio encouragement, you don't want a picture at all. Besides, a second-party drawing a doodle for third-parties about a fourth-party getting off while talking to a fifth-party puts more layers between you and sex than using one of those Russian nesting dolls as a condom.
None of that will have prepared you for this picture:
The sheer innocent joy of the picture means it has to be criminal. Especially since it appears on the Norwegian Wikipedia page for "Telefoonseks," which just sounds like an appallingly precocious educational cartoon. The inherent happiness almost distracts you from the conversation: That guy is talking about having big tits while rubbing his belly invitingly. So he's either involved in very progressive roleplay, or catfishing the hell out of some poor jerk(er).