Behind every great success story lies years of struggle, failure, and disappointment. But for these celebrities, there was also a surprising amount of criminal mischief, substance abuse, and clowns. The following people are lucky they landed careers as iconic entertainers, because they were completely shitty at their first jobs.
6Hugh Jackman: Tony And Golden Globe Winner, World's Worst Clown
Hugh Jackman started off his career like many young actors do: by taking acting classes. And also like many young actors, he really sucked at them. In his own words, he was a total dunce. Luckily, being a dunce was practically every job requirement for his day job. Everyone, meet Coco the Clown:
Fitzy and Wippa / Twitter
The only sad clown we've ever felt sorry for.
That's Jackman back when he was trying to make a living as a party clown. He and his best friend Stan called themselves "Coco and Bozo," which are as uninspired as clown names can get. They could not have been any lazier if they called themselves "Clown Name TBD" and "Fuck Off, You Think Of Something." To make matters worse, neither of them knew any tricks. At all.
Jackman couldn't juggle or do magic, so he and Bozo passed the time by jumping into garbage cans and hurling eggs at each other. Needless to say, kids were not impressed, and weren't averse to straight-up telling them that they sucked in the middle of their "performances."
Warner Brothers Pictures
A tradition that still lives on today.
The kids' fathers were less direct, as they were almost certainly confused about how all that pancake makeup got on their wives' erogenous zones.
5Tom Cruise: Superstar Actor, Shitty Priest
When most people think of Tom Cruise, they think of Scientology. He's become synonymous with the religion known for worshiping a space alien and covering up gay sex. Well, Cruise very nearly became synonymous with a religion known for worshiping a magical man in the sky and covering up child sex.
Yes, Cruise was almost a Catholic priest. He was recruited at the age of 14 for St. Francis Seminary School in Cincinnati. According to Father Ric Schneider, who recruited him, young Tom was "instantly hooked." When Cruise applied to the school, he was required to take an IQ test, which he barely passed with the exact minimum score of 110. So he wasn't an exceptional student, but no priest is going to turn away a 14-year-old Tom Cruise.
The original risky business.
He might still be there, working as a priest and acting in the seminary's theater department, if it weren't for a single night of shenanigans that brought it all to an end. Under the cover of night, far from their God's heavenly gaze, Cruise and his friend Shane Dempler hatched a scheme to steal liquor from the Franciscan fathers. Dempler snagged them while Cruise waited below, catching bottles as they were thrown out the window. The two amateur burglars broke most of them, but managed to save enough to sneak into the woods and get hammered. Everything was going according to plan, until some of the other students got involved and way too fucking drunk, in that order.
Father Ric Schneider
A similar incident later in life led to Rock Of Ages.
The other students got caught staggering home, and caved during interrogation. They snitched on Cruise and Dempler, and the school sent their parents letters saying they'd prefer they didn't return. But as they say in outer space, "God's loss is Xenu's gain."