Sometimes the acting in a movie feels so genuine that you can't help but think the performer should take home every Oscar that year -- even the ones they're not nominated for. Best Movie? Whatever Daniel Day-Lewis is in. Best Actor? Daniel Day-Lewis. Best Special Effects? Fuck it: Daniel Day-Lewis. But sometimes it turns out that these moments only feel so real because they absolutely are ...
5 Conan the Barbarian Tried to Murder Arnold Schwarzenegger; Everybody Else
If you're not familiar with the filmic masterpiece Conan the Barbarian, first things first: Shame on you, Philistine. Second: Imagine watching someone else play a German-language copy of Skyrim with poorly translated English subtitles and lots of titty/gore mods. That's Conan the Barbarian, and it was pretty badass. Especially when you consider that Conan wasn't so much a fictional epic as a Funniest Home Videos compilation of Arnie clumsily falling off things and getting attacked by animals.
In one scene, we see the barbarian, Conan (that's what it says on his license), being chased by vicious wolves. Or, to put it more accurately, in a piece of disturbing candid footage, we see Arnold Schwarzenegger being chased by actual vicious dogs. Here's the "wacky" blooper where one of the dogs catches him before the camera cuts away and tries to tear his face off, but only partially succeeds.
Luckily he was rescued by the dog's trainer and survived to bring us Junior.
It wasn't just Arnold's infamous dog-infuriating musk, either: During the scene where Conan's father is killed by Rottweilers in leather jackets ...
And tea-bagged for good measure.
... the actor claims that they were actually mauling him pretty bad, and one was trying to get at his throat. Luckily, the director yelled cut just before the dog sank its teeth into his arm and dragged him 50 feet.
This is the sort of thing the Baha Men were trying to warn us about.
Now, for your amusement, here is the future governor of California awkwardly falling into a cave:
Once again, that's not a stuntman, and there were no hidden pads. Or at least none that helped. As soon as the cameras cut away, Arnold told director John Milius that he was bleeding, to which Milius replied, "The pain is only momentary, but the movie is forever."
Further, the actress playing Valeria had her index finger severed during a fight scene where they inexplicably used a real sword instead of a prop, and then even more inexplicably gave it to an extra instead of a trained stuntman. The random dude parried the actresses' blow, the sword slipped, and off came her finger.
It's less like a movie and more like somebody got permission to enter Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Hunger Games and film the results.