#4. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick
And do sheep dream of Egyptian bestiality?
This is a Danish edition of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (the novel that inspired the film Blade Runner), and if what we're seeing here is what androids really dream of, it's no wonder humans send out bounty hunters to "retire" those twisted bastards.
In this interpretation, an "electric sheep" is apparently a sheep-faced, human-breasted half-robot with purple wool hair, and judging by the permanently exposed breasts, we can only assume it's some kind of high-tech sex doll. But wait -- is that a dartboard on the back of its head? Are androids such multitaskers that they need the distraction of bar games while doing the ol' hydraulic shuffle? Or maybe ... maybe it's not darts they're "shooting" to "score" in this "game"?
#3. Dracula by Bram Stoker
So what? He's reading the annotations.
It's tough to dream up an original concept when it comes to the quintessential bloodsucker -- with the film versions having created so many iconic depictions of the character over the years, how can a lowly cover artist possibly hope to compare? Well, in this case, they decided to do it by filling a coffin with the love child born from a vigorous threesome among Vincent Price, Jay Leno, and that creepy puppet from Saw. The result is confusing, to say the least -- we're not sure whether to laugh, scream, or maybe do one of those uncomfortable chuckles that slowly degenerates into a sob.
But wait, we haven't even gotten to the most disturbing part yet, because judging by the look on his face, we have our suspicions about what's going on just out of frame:
Yep, undead O-face. Good luck scrubbing that from your memory.
#2. Tales of the Cthulhu Mythos by H.P. Lovecraft
Designing a cover image for a collection of tales from H.P. Lovecraft really isn't all that complicated: Take an oceanscape with lots of rough waves, paste a giant humanoid figure on there, slap on some bat wings and a squid face, and call it a day. But instead, this edition went with the more obscure reference: Zombie Popeye.
This is just one of a whole series of similarly themed Lovecraft editions, each depicting a person's reaction to discovering that their cranium has been sublet without their consent.
For example, on the second volume we find a man whose pet brain worms have infuriated him, to the point that he hasn't even noticed that the lower half of his face has transformed into the cover of a Pink Floyd album.
Mind ... bat. Batty mind.
And here's what you get if the world's biggest Batman fan plays with the puzzle box from Hellraiser. Don't play with the puzzle box from Hellraiser, kids.
#1. Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs
Of the apes, by the apes, for the apes, baby.
For this comic adaptation of the classic novel, the publisher decided to focus on the iconic scene from Tarzan in which he and his little monkey pal duck into a cave to escape a sudden rainstorm and ... oh hell, there's really no tactful way to put this, so we're just going to come right out and say it: Tarzan so wants to fuck that monkey.
Every single bit of his body language says so. The bedroom eyes. The sheepish yet somehow slightly vulgar grin. The reclined position that just so happens to perfectly accentuate his otherworldly pecs. And if it weren't mostly blocked from view, we'd be willing to bet you could see his loincloth a-bulging. We're not sure why he's packing the bow and arrows -- wild game is clearly not what Tarzan's looking to pierce in this particular situation.
And the monkey? Well, it's down, obviously. Just look at the way it's returning Tarzan's shit-eating stare, even though bared teeth is a sign of aggression in monkey-speak. But that monkey's not going all apey. No sir, instead it's proudly displaying its pouty little monkey lips, gently massaging its meager monkey throat in preparation for what will surely be oh God we're so going to hell for this one.
Related Reading: Up for the video game version of this same article? Click here. Tom Reimann will show you the Bomberman you wish you'd grown up with. Rather see misleading movie covers? Watch how much cooler District 9 looks in Thailand? If you're still not satisfied, let Cracked cue you in on the most misleading title in TV history.
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