Phase 4 Films via NY Times/
Despite Adam Sandler's worst efforts, hairdresser is about the least masculine job in modern society. Vidal Sassoon, hair-whisperer and shampoo-namer extraordinaire, fit the stereotype perfectly, garnering a world-wide reputation for being fabulous and not much else. The most violent he would ever get was when he had to screw up a particularly gnarly set of split ends.
Vidal Sassoon via Style.com
Even the boot camp barber couldn't bring himself to shave off hair that glorious.
Sassoon would beg to differ. Long before aiding and abetting humanity's obsession over the dead shit growing out of our heads, he was a Nazi-bashing teenager in a group of Jewish militants. And when we say "bashing," we mean that quite literally.
As you might have noticed, the end of World War II didn't mean the end of Jews putting up with racist bullshit. British politician Sir Oswald Mosley started teaching the wonderful lessons of a now very dead Hitler, starting the British Union of Fascists and just generally being a high-level dick.
Sir Oswald Mosley
He's one fixie away from being the single most punchable person on Earth.
A bunch of English Jews, who had just returned from fighting Nazis on the frontlines, heard about Mosley's campaign and gave a resounding, "Bugger that bunch of bollocks." They started the 43 Group, an anti-Mosley gang determined to stamp out any possible spread of anti-Semitism in London.
Most of the leaders were crusty old war vets, so 17-year-old Vidal Sassoon, a teenage apprentice at a London hair salon and avid anti-anti-Semite, joined the Group's street team. Unlike most street teams, Sassoon and Friends didn't just hand out flyers and hold bake sale fundraisers. No, they marched right into anti-Semitic rallies, and broke them up on the spot. They would do this violently if the need arose, which it usually did. Sassoon would successfully beat the snot out of scores of Nazis, armed only with razor blades and knives. All he needed was a side-job selling meat pies made out of people, and he would've literally been the real-life Sweeney Todd.
REX via The Telegraph
"You can't even imagine what I can do with this."
This was all done in secrecy, forcing Sassoon to hide or explain away any mysterious scars and bruises that he suffered. Once, he came to work with a gigantic shiner and, when questioned by his boss what happened, Sassoon merely said, "I just fell over a hairpin." Clearly, he was a much better fighter than he was a liar.
James Doohan was an actor so typecast, it probably would've been easier on him to just legally change his name to "Scotty." Doohan was the lovably-beleaguered engineer from Star Trek, and virtually nothing else. He found very little work outside of being Scotty, and his "Ah'm givin' 'er uhl sheh's gut, Cap'n!" is about the only thing people remember, aside from his being the most stereotypically Scottish character in history aside from Groundskeeper Willie.
"Oh, because I'm Scottish you automatically assume I can play the bagpipes?! God, just give them here."
It's really too bad that Doohan was seen as a sci-fi engineer and nothing else, because he had so much more to offer. You don't command, fight in, and survive D-Day by being a talentless hack, after all. Doohan was a member of the Canadian Air Force around the time of World War II and was so good at what he did that he could afford to risk his life purely for shits and giggles. At one point, somebody dared him to hop in his plane and slalom between a series of telephone poles, and he successfully did just that. That stunt earned him the painfully uncatchy title of "Craziest Pilot in the Canadian Air Force." It also earned him severe reprimands from his superiors. Still, totally worth it, bro.
In World War II, "severe reprimand" just meant that you had to buy everyone's drinks.
Doohan wasn't just stunts and insanity though; he was an artillery captain, leading his men to battle during the D-Day invasion of Normandy. Doohan survived, but took one for the team. Actually, he took six for the team, as he was shot that many times in the legs and hands, ultimately leading to the amputation of his right middle finger.
Now, chances are you didn't ever see a nine-fingered Scotty while watching Star Trek. That's because, instead of giving the character an origin tale where his fuck-you finger was shot off in a tragic Phaser accident back at the Academy, Doohan chose to hide the amputation. You rarely saw his hands close up and, when you did, they weren't his, but rather a stunt double. Of course, sometimes a stunt double wasn't an option, and we got this as a result:
"Live long and ... oh, right."
Follow Jacopo della Quercia on Twitter. Patrick is a High School Senior in Rhode Island, his musical comedy band Monstrostrous just released a free album "Back Dat A**tericks Up" on Bandcamp. Like them on Facebook and follow Patrick on Twitter.
For more secret ass-kickers, check out 11 Celebrities Who Were Secretly Total Badasses and 5 Authors More Badass Than The Badass Character They Created.
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