Science has found that monkeys will pay to watch monkey porn, as we mentioned in another article. But upon reading about those experiments (which involved filming monkey porn, training monkeys to watch it and then working out a complex system of compensation), some of you immediately had a rather important question: "What scientist was even wondering about that in the first place?"
This is when you realize that a huge amount of the scientific research done in the world seems to be based entirely on shits and giggles. For instance, there have been studies on ...
6"Will a Male Turkey Fuck a Severed Head on a Stick?"
Back in the '60s, poultry specialists observed that male turkeys seemed to only be attracted to the faces of females. (When have you ever seen a turkey stare at another turkey's ass? Never.) So clearly it was time to find out just how far into Crazytown they could take the idea. "Oh, you like faces, Mr. Turkey? Well let's see you mate with this!"
Via Carbaugh, B., Schein, M., & Hale, E. (1962). Animal Behavior
"Well, I'm not really in the mood for mating, but I could use a little head."
Yes, that would be a real, severed female turkey head. On a stick.
In 1965, Pennsylvania State University researchers Martin Schein and Edgar Hale started the experiment reasonably enough by presenting male turkeys with a model of a female turkey. The living turkeys got their sex on, because they're just turkeys, and at the sight of a turkey-shaped object they were like "Close enough for my feathered boner!" The researchers then severed the feet, tail and wings from the model, and the oblivious turkeys kept on doing their thing.
Is anyone else imagining a deep Barry White voice making turkey sounds? "Blblblblblblblb!"
The researchers kept removing sections of the turkey until all they were left with was the head of the model. That didn't discourage the males one bit -- just the fake head was enough. That was all probably good data, and helpful to farmers and such who are looking for the best way to breed turkeys. And then the scientists were like "Well, we've come this far. Let's go put a real turkey head on a stick and see if we can get a male turkey to fuck it."
They did, and then they watched as the males frantically humped the severed heads of their lovers. All while at least one scientist in the room tried desperately to hide his erection.
"Fifty bucks says he fucks this, too."