With the TCU Horned Frogs (real name, we swear!) dominating the Northern Illinois Huskies through all four quarters in this ridiculous mismatch called the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, this game proved as boring as its name. In fact, it would have been more exciting to watch the San Diego County Credit Union conduct credit checks for three hours instead of witnessing this rout.
The Motor City Bowl is going to be a shootout. And several people will die because of it. Nothing’s better than celebrating a bowl game in the country’s second most violent city. On your way over to the stadium, stop by and pick up some smack from the gas station attendant, take a pot shot from a random bystander or admire the haunted house-like infrastructure of a city people stopped caring for 50 years ago. A fun tailgating game is to drink every time you spot a condemned building. You’ll be cross-eyed by kickoff.