The 5 Most Incredibly Detailed Replicas Ever Made by Fans The 4 Most Underrated Feelings in the World 5 Reasons Why Donald Trump Is the Biggest Troll Alive

Summer Movie Preview (Part 1)

Nacho Libre

IN A NUTSHELL
Jack Black deviously pretends to be a Mexican wrestler in order to fight other Mexican wrestlers. Imagine making a comedy based exclusively on the premise that Mexican people are weird, and then kick back and relax, comforted in the knowledge that someone already saved you the trouble.

WHY YOU SHOULD HATE IT
Remember how Napoleon Dynamite started out as a funny little low-budget comedy, then snowballed into a cult classic, then became a full-bore social irritant you couldn't get away from, with every mouth-breathing office comedian on the planet quoting it every five minutes? Nacho could end up being Part Two of that nonsense, this time with wrestling masks.

June 23

Click

IN A NUTSHELL
Starring Adam Sandler, Click tells us what happens when a man finds a remote that can pause and rewind real life, as well as what happens when a stoned screenwriter has his mind blown by his Tivo remote' ability to pause and rewind live TV.

WHY YOU SHOULD HATE IT
Because its senseless "high concept" plot means people are already calling it a revamped Groundhog Day. Apparently Groundhog Day wasn't perfectly acceptable on its own and, like everything in life, needed "more Adam Sandler" in it to make it perfect.

Garfield' a Tale of Two Kitties

IN A NUTSHELL
This film was created on a dare between two methed-up animators to see who could make a CG Garfield do the craziest shit. Then dialogue was thrown together, and the film's title was chosen by a local group of Library Science students. Picture Jim Davis spinning on his cross.

WHY YOU SHOULD HATE IT
Because you're a sane person without kids.

Waist Deep

IN A NUTSHELL
Tyrese Gibson plays Tyrese, a clever ex-con who must use his wits in order to get his son back from car-jackers, but who is constantly thwarted by the fact that white people confuse him with Tyson Beckford.

WHY YOU SHOULD HATE IT
If you're black, you should hate it because every movie that stars a black guy somehow integrally involves car-jacking. If you're white, you should hate it because your black friends are going to like it, then tell you the reason you don't is that you don't get it.



June 30

Superman Returns

IN A NUTSHELL
Kevin Spacey stars in the David and Goliath story of an ugly bald man who pulls himself up by his bootstraps to become a millionaire, only to be picked on tragically by a man with super strength, x-ray vision and the ability to fly.

WHY YOU SHOULD HATE IT
Honestly, we're pretty certain we could pick someone randomly on the street and they'd kick Kevin Spacey' ass in less than 15 minutes. You're telling us it takes Superman an hour and a half? Watching your pet snake toy with an injured mouse for a couple of hours would be more suspenseful.

The Devil Wears Prada

IN A NUTSHELL
The shocking story that reveals that people who work at magazines like Cosmopolitan are (gasp!) shallow and vindictive. For the sequel: it turns out the Earth isn't flat and eating nothing but Burger King Whoppers for a year makes your heart mysteriously stop.

WHY YOU SHOULD HATE IT
Just because chick lit flies off of book shelves doesn't mean you should make a movie out of it. Coloring books sell pretty well too.

July 5

Little Man

IN A NUTSHELL
A Wayans brother stars as a midget jewel thief who gets a family to adopt him so he can steal their jewels or something. To be honest, I think I got stupider just writing that.

WHY YOU SHOULD HATE IT
Because the term "Created by and starring the Wayans Brothers" is, much like the skull and crossbones symbol on cans of poison, a universally-understood shorthand for "Do Not Touch". Of course, when I was a kid I thought it meant "Drinking This Will Turn You Into a Pirate," but one stomach-pumping later and I learned my lesson. Come to think of it, I could say that for Scary Movie too.

Tune in tomorrow for Part Two!
  • Random

Recommended For Your Pleasure

To turn on reply notifications, click here

3 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!