WHY IT'S BADThe word "Amityville" should be a tip-off. It's a steaming pile of garbage about a house who posesses the oldest brother in a family. It's kind of a more subdued version of one of the best-best horror movies ever, The Shining. There's also an incest subplot that just makes me kind of sick even thinking about it. Oh, and there's a reticent priest who comes off as a character ripped directly out of perhaps another of the best-best of horror movies, The Exorcist.
WHY IT'S GOODBurt Young is in it! Just looking at that guy is a comfort and a reminder that hey, it could be worse, you could be watching Rocky V. (But then again, you could be watching Rocky IV). This movie also has the most ludicrous posession story I've ever seen. The brother gets possessed and then proceeds to shoot his family with a rifle. No, he doesn't send demonic creatures after them or at least axe them. He just shoots them. That's so retarded it's awesome.
WHY YOU NEED TO SEE ITBecause it's incredibly fun to watch this movie with other people to point out all the similarities to other, better movies. My favorite moment from when I was watching it:
MY FRIEND: Look at that priest, he looks just like the priest from The Exorcist.
HIS GIRLFRIEND: What do you mean?
MY FRIEND: He's dressed just like him.
HIS GIRLFRIEND: You mean...like a priest?
And that's beautiful.
ALSO CHECK OUT...The first Amityville Horror, which is almost as bad.
WHY IT'S BADThe Leprechaun as a character has to be the worst thing to happen to horror movies. At least Freddy Krueger's witticisms were somewhat...witty. The Leprechaun's limericks are just tiring, and he's less threatening than he is annoying. And in this particular movie, the annoying level is taken to immense levels because the titular character is placed in...oh my!...Compton. The characters are such stereotypical gangstas that they go past parody to just being grating, and, worse, they're boring. Everything about the premise and production value screams "straight to video."
WHY IT'S GOODIce T in a small role. Coolio as himself. A scene near the end where the homies have to dress up in drag Abbott and Costello-style for some reason that has something to do with getting the Leprechaun's gold back for him. I don't know, it didn't make a lot of sense. But it was pretty funny.
WHY YOU NEED TO SEE ITBecause over the closing credits, the Leprechaun raps, almost redeeming his existence. Actually, it would maybe be worthwhile just to skip ahead to that part and pretend it's the whole movie.
ALSO CHECK OUT...Leprechaun 3, the one set in Las Vegas, if only for the scene with the robot hooker.
WHY IT'S BADThis movie has a huge cult following surrounding it, and a lot of people would tell you that it's outright good-good, but those people are wrong. Trust me. It's very bad-good. I guarantee you that all the good stuff you remember from this movie is actually from the sequel (which, contrary to popular belief, is not a remake, but a direct sequel with some re-shot flashbacks). The chainsaw hand, the little Ashes, Klaatu Verata Nikto, the demon that says "I'll swallow your soul!" and the eye creature that floods the cabin with blood are all bits from the second one. This one plays out like a lot of other teens-go-to-the-woods horror movies and doesn't go for the over-the-top humor of Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness. Everybody but Bruce Campbell is terrible in it, and its three-dollar budget is evident throughout.
WHY IT'S GOODIt may play as a straight crappy horror movie, but it's still a Sam Raimi movie, which means it's well-directed and pretty fun. The scenes showing the evil spirits racing through the woods (from their point of view) are really cool, and the tree rape scene (yes, tree rape) is really creepily awesomely awful. The Evil Dead isn't stylized and funny like the movies that followed it, but it has its merits and some excellent lines here and there, like "Shut up, Linda!"
WHY YOU NEED TO SEE ITBecause it led to Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness, and deserves to be seen just for that.
ALSO CHECK OUT...Evil Dead II, which I think I've already talked up enough.
WHY IT'S BADIt's honestly, genuinely one of the worst movies ever made. It's kind of hard to even explain how awful it is. But I'll try to give you a couple of examples. For one thing, there are no trolls in it. Not a single one. There are goblins. And the goblins live in a town called...wait for it...Nilbog. The movie has absolutely no connection to the first Troll. The plot centers on the fact that the family in the movie is switching houses with a farm family, but for no ostensible reason. And there's a weirdly erotic scene involving corn and a druid lady. It's just...it's mind-blowing.
WHY IT'S GOODFor all the same reasons listed above.
WHY YOU NEED TO SEE ITBecause you want to have your life changed forever.
ALSO CHECK OUT...A doctor, because something is wrong with you.