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Suggested Titles for O.J.'s Next 16 Books
| With his decision to publish a hypothetical account of his ex-wife's murder entitled If I Did It, O.J. Simpson has become the real life embodiment of the narrator from “The Tell-Tale Heart” (if the narrator from "The Tell-Tale Heart" had starred in the Naked Gun trilogy). Because we know it's hard work to be that self-incriminating, we've gone ahead and given O.J. titles for his next 16 books about hypothetically committing murder. I Didn't Not Not Kill Nobody  If There Was Hidden Evidence The Cops Didn't Find, Here’s Where It Would Be Okay, It Was Me. Just Kidding! Gentle Backrubs and 101 Other Activities You Can Do With Your Ex-Wife Besides Brutally Killing Her I Did It (It = Not Commit Murder)  Arrest Me, I'm Guilty... Of Nothing The Day I Scored Four Touchdowns in One Game and Didn't Kill My Ex-Wife I'm Only a Murderer On Opposite Day I Killed My Ex-Wife and Her Friend In A Jealous Rage…Not! If I Murdered Two People And Wrote A Book About It, This Would Be It Why I Did What I Didn't Do  'I Wish I Could Go Back In Time And Not Commit Murder.' That's What I'd Be Saying If I Did It. I Ruined My Life When I Didn't Kill Anyone That Day The Football Player Who Killed His Ex-Wife - A Fictional Novel by O.J. Simpson There Was Blood Everywhere: My Life as an EMT Trainee I Murdered 'Em (Doing Stand-Up. [Not that Thing About My Ex-Wife.]) |
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Freeshooter
'I Didn't Not Not Kill Nobody' is a great one.