In 2006, a vintage-looking nostalgic T-shirt is pretty much the sweetest thing you can wear. Shirts that evoke people, places and things from the 80s sell like hotcakes, so we started to wonder: what kind of nostalgic tees will people be wearing in 20 years? To answer that question, we did what we always do-had a moonlight séance. After a lot of shirtless candle wax antics (don't ask), we looked into the future, and here are the T-shirts we saw for sale in 2026.
Look at how enormous those things were! Seth Cohen phones were hilarious, right?
Hey-who could forget the late, great Jon Stewart? Whether or not conspiracy theorists' claims that the Jeb Bush administration ordered the 2009 killing are true, we sure do miss him. So grab your own personal "Moment of Zen" with this bitchin' tee.
With the 2013 collapse of Social Security and MediCare, we all started to lose something we loved despite the smell-old people. Just kidding-miss you, grandpa!
Last seen way back in 2014 near the tiny island of Greenland, snow was some kind of frozen rain that literally fell from the sky. Whatever-talk about old school!
A lot of us still have dope memories of North Michigan from our childhoods, when folks still called it "Canada." But after the 2019 oil raids and 2020 invasion, C-town went the way of the elderly-gonzo!
Who could forget how, after all those Canadians became US property, we made 'em block off our southern border to keep out the 12 million Mexicans we gave the boot in the Great Purge of 2021? Now that's "isolation-awesome!"
Remember Fords? They were total pieces! So when those egghead Japanese figured out how to make a car run on water in '15, Ford's fuel-efficient all-tricycle products didn't seem so awesome anymore.
Like "snow," the Ozone Layer is something a lot of us recall from the 00s. Back then, you could just take your shirt right off without your nipples getting engulfed in flames. Talk about a sunburn!
When Prime Minister Hillary passed all those social reforms in '17, guys like Tom Selleck became a thing of the past. Sure, the castrations and shavings were necessary, but you gotta love an underdog!
We Americans have never been a bunch to shy away from some good eats. Who could resist the super-popular 2019 Burger King/McDonald's/KFC joint venture, the MegaSuperHappyFun Egg-n-Butter-n-Steak-n-Cheese BaconBurger Wrappp?
Hey, remember before the Bush brothers' glorious 2019 coup d'état when we all still had the ability to make choices? That was back when the government didn't give us MegaSuperHappyFun Egg-n-Butter-n-Steak-n-Cheese BaconBurger Wrappps for every meal! They're awesome, right?! Right?! RIGHT?!
You know, a lot of people, including Scientists, say that Global Warming would actually lead to more extreme winters. So #4 is just so painfully annoying, it makes my head hurt.
Shut up you goddamn hippy. No, seriously, TheGreyLady is right, this is so f*****g lame. At least try to make it humorous. Snow? Hur hur, I see what you did there. A global warmi-shut the f**k up and write a f*****g joke already.
Political fail. I'm not siding with either side, but this article started decent but hung left and went down Fuckey Ave. I guess the author wanted readers to get in indignant fights about politics with each other.
THe cell phone bit was good the rest was all lefty stupidity the last shirt shows that, all the right wants is free will dumbass, the left is all about big government and facism get a clue lefties
MegaSuperHappyFun Egg-n-Butter-n-Steak-n-Cheese BaconBurger Wrappp? I'll take 2, and a small fries.
ReplyThe best part...the ad at the bottom was for "Shirts for the Shirtless"
ReplyI want that "The Elderly" shirt.
ReplyWe will miss you Jon Stewart!
ReplyYou know, a lot of people, including Scientists, say that Global Warming would actually lead to more extreme winters. So #4 is just so painfully annoying, it makes my head hurt.
Replythe only funny one was Tom Seleck.
ReplyShut up you goddamn hippy. No, seriously, TheGreyLady is right, this is so f*****g lame. At least try to make it humorous. Snow? Hur hur, I see what you did there. A global warmi-shut the f**k up and write a f*****g joke already.
Replythat article turned left faster than nascar.
ReplyHell, I'm a communist and I agree.
Political fail. I'm not siding with either side, but this article started decent but hung left and went down Fuckey Ave. I guess the author wanted readers to get in indignant fights about politics with each other.
ReplyIt started out funny with promise, then totally crapped out after the second one...
Replywhy is this on here? most unfunny thing I've ever seen on cracked. and I just dignified it with this comment...crap.
Replymaybe it was funny in 2006, I'm thinking..
are you insane?
Replyunder the Bush regime, we've lost more freedom than ever
THe cell phone bit was good the rest was all lefty stupidity the last shirt shows that, all the right wants is free will dumbass, the left is all about big government and facism get a clue lefties
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesSweeping statements and historical and political inaccuracy off the port bow, captain!
Hahaha, oh man. That was honestly funnier than the article, because I think Abe is serious. Wow.
the right wants mad max the left wants 1984 pick your poison
ZzZzZz where's the joke
Replyi would so buy one of those cellphone shirts
Reply