Halloween
We have the Potato Famine and Great Depression to thank for Halloween, so…shoutout to historical tragedies? Look, we're so excited about Halloween we've already queued up some underrated horror movies. We're in a place of excitement right now, not depressing potatoes. Just look at these DIY Halloween costumes! Are you anything but jacked for spooky season right now?
We'd be remiss to leave you without a few safety reminders: no one is giving your kids edibles. Legal weed for children in this economy? Come on. No poison candy either! That's for Christmas. And finally, please remember these creepy ‘facts’ are falsehoods. OK, there's more below, but that's all we have time for now. Have fun on Halloween! Hail Satan!
The 5 Things That Can Ruin Halloween for Any Adult
Some things can suck the joy out of Adult Halloween, leaving it as sad and flavorless as a plastic jack-o'-lantern pail full of stale candy corn.
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- By C. Coville
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0 5 Things to Really Be Scared of On Halloween This Year
Here are some less traditional outlets to fulfill your yearly quota of scares.
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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8 Racist Halloween Costumes People Apparently Still Wear
If you're heading to a costume party this year and want to make everyone there very uncomfortable, there are plenty of options available in this year's fine selection of racist Halloween costumes.
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- By Chris Sims
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6 Animals That Look Like They're Dressed Up for Halloween
Truly, Halloween is a magical day. Which is why some animals choose to celebrate it 24/7.
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- By Monte Richard, E. Reid Ross
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28 Japanese Halloween Costumes That Will Haunt Your Dreams
I've gathered some of the nuttiest examples of what Japanese costumers have been up to in the past few years.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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The 7 Types of Halloween Costume and What They Say About You
Before you go hit on that Sexy Naruto or whatever, maybe consult this handy list first and see if it's worth the trouble.
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- By Robert Brockway
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23 Horrible Ideas for Sexy Halloween Costumes
On Halloween, we're all asked to find creative ways to make other people think about what we'd be like to have sex with. Unfortunately, not all costumes lend themselves to sexiness quite as well as 'Sexy Nurse,' and 'Doctor Penis Hands.'
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- By Cracked Plasticians
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5 Things That Have Almost Destroyed Halloween
Halloween isn't always the beacon of snack-sized Snickers and girls dressed as Kojak with cleavage that it should be. For years, nefarious little shits have been trying to have their way with it and make it awful, because some people just want to watch the world burn.
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- By Ian Fortey
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4 Truly Scary Facts No One Tells You About Halloween
Bad news dweebs, consider this column the shitty popcorn ball in your bag of candy. With any luck, it will spoil your favorite holiday just a little bit.
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- By Soren Bowie
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4 Things You Are Regretting On The Day After Halloween
If my calculations are correct, whatever you did last night, during the darkest, sweatiest hours of All Hallows Eve, you're probably regretting it now.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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5 Halloween Parties Too Badass to Be Real (That Totally Are)
There are some places where the true spirit of Halloween lives on in grand fashion.
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- By Jacopo della Quercia
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16 Great Halloween Costumes for Telling Everyone You Suck
We've shown you some pretty bad costumes before. Some of you didn't get the message: Just because your costume wasn't on THAT list doesn't mean you can still dress like an ass and get away with it.
After Hours Halloween Episode: Live Chat!
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- By After Hours
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Tricks for Celebrating Halloween at Every Stage of Life
Looking at Halloween across the span of our lifetimes, we see an oscillating parabola of hedonism: Babies, being stupid, don't understand the day and find it worrying, kids get their first taste of true euphoric excess, teenagers think they're too cool for it, young adults use it like a nation-wide masked orgy, and adults are just inconvenienced.
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- By Robert Brockway
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