Carly Tennes
'Satanic Tea Company' Aims to Make Tea Time Goth Again
The bass, the rock, the mic, the treble, I like my chamomile tea black just like my metal?
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
'Man Cave' Discovered Under Grand Central Station Platform, Because the MTA is the MTA
Move over, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, there's a new underground lair in town...
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Ikea's Newest Influencer Is a CGI Instagram Model
Ikea should probably start selling black mirrors after this ad campaign.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Man Dies From Eating Too Much Licorice Because, Well, Murphy's Law
Are you one of those certifiably weird people that actually like licorice? We've got some bad news, people.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Guy Who Claims To Be Second Coming of Christ Arrested In Russia
The second coming of Christ as an ex-traffic cop was not on my 2020 bingo, but here we are I guess.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Dolly Parton's 'Jolene' Works As A Stealth Lesbian Love Song
Seriously folks, that Jolene is one fine looking gal.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
A Koozie For Your Burrito Is Peak Genius (Or Madness?)
You never realized a burrito needed a fancy suit, but here we all are.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Who Is Responsible For The First Selfie? A Scientific Investigation
Seriously, is it Reese Witherspoon? Some dead guy from the 1800s? My mom?
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Asbestos, Canada Struggles to Find a Name Better Than 'Asbestos'
Intercourse, Pennsylvania has some stiff competition.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
The Mods of New Jersey's Official Twitter Account Deserves A Raise
Yes, the northeastern state of New Jersey, lovingly dubbed 'The Armpit of America' has a crackerjack Twitter.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Flights To Nowhere Are Now A Thing Because 2020
All the stress of air travel, without any of the vacation destinations!
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
The Actual Reason Costco's Hot Dog And Soda Combo Is $1.50
Several billion years from now, a hot dog and a soda will cost $1.50 at Costco.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Played Fantasy Baseball (And Talked Trash)
Even RBG had her savage moments, especially when it came to fantasy sports.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
A Bunny Expert Classifying Rabbits Is Oddly Hypnotic, Wholesome
Sometimes you just gotta watch a calm man talk about the roundness of little bunnies.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
'Hype Houses' Are Just Zoomer Communes
I'll take 'Late-Stage Capitalism' for 500, Alex.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Broke Rat-Man Chuck E. Cheese Seeks To Destroy 7 Billion Prize Tickets
That's almost enough for one large stuffed animal!
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Taco Bell Now Sells 'Jalapeño Noir' Wine Because Reality Is Melting
There's so much to taco 'bout here, folks.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Oh No, We Made Fudge Out Of 1 Pound Of Velveeta Cheese
Have you ever eaten fudge and found yourself thinking, 'This needs more cheese?'
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
Monkey Steals Guy's Phone, Immediately Takes A Bunch Of Selfies
This viral marketing for the new 'Planet of the Apes' franchise is going too far.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
In 2020, Everybody Working From Home Is 'BBC Dad'
There are two kinds of people in the world --- those who have had a Robert Kelly moment since working remotely, and liars.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
- Published
