Writer and editor for niche website Cracked.com. I am definitely not a shaved bear. For more attempts at witticisms and my personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow me @cedricvoets.
Don't Listen To The New Taylor Swift Album (No, Not For The Usual Reason) You'll be doing her a solid. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 24, 2020
'The New Yorker' Crossword Puzzle Has Released A Co-Op Mode A style of game where several players work together; a Brooklyn organic food store. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 22, 2020
Reasons The Cruise Business Should Go To The Bottom When vacations come back, do anything else! Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 22, 2020
The Facebook Gaming App Wants To Turn Your Mom Into A Streamer The only streaming platform with clean bedrooms. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 20, 2020
German Zoo Has List Of Which Animals Die First Survival of the financially fittest. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 17, 2020
WWE Is (Of Course) Deemed Essential In Florida Florida is catching wrestling fever -- and the other one. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 15, 2020
New Netflix Show Sits Atop Trash TV Mountain Witness the impossible task of hot people not having sex for a week. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 13, 2020
Congrats To Newcomer Bob Dylan For His First Billboard No. 1 Hit This kid is going places. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 10, 2020
5 Beloved Rom-Coms That Have Aged In Weird Ways Classic, and not in a good way. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 09, 2020
Pharma Bro Wants A Crack At This (And Out Of Prison) What is this, some kind of Shkreli Squad? Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 08, 2020
Science Confirms About Mice What Disney's Known Forever The whiskers never lie. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 06, 2020
Sorry, NYC Typhoid Morons, Go Drink At Home Let's plague this joint. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 03, 2020
Logan Paul Has Two Regrets In Life. One Of Them Is Buying A Couch Regrets, he's had a-two. Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 01, 2020
Celebrity Scandals Most People Have Forgotten About Don't I know you from the opposite of this? Authors By Cedric Voets Published April 01, 2020
Art School Dean Has Tone Deaf Response To Students (Internet) Fame! Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 30, 2020
Musicians Are Already Being Inspired By The Coronavirus Quarantine Are you more into discovid or skarantine? Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 27, 2020
Sadly, The Hobby Lobby Dead Sea Scrolls Are All Crafty Fakes These don't belong in a museum. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 25, 2020
Dating Sites Are Trying To Contain The Quarantined Singles In Your Area Love in the time of Coronavirus Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 23, 2020
Gamestop Is Still Open (And 'Essential') Covid-19 has Gamestop clinging on for dear life. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 20, 2020
Goddamn It, Trump Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. Authors By Cedric Voets Published March 19, 2020
