Writer and editor for niche website Cracked.com. I am definitely not a shaved bear. For more attempts at witticisms and my personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow me @cedricvoets.
You Legally Can't Criticize Goldman Sachs With Their Own Font; We Did It With Other Ones If you can't type anything nice, don't type nothing at all. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 26, 2020
6 Normal Places People Claimed Were The Sites Of Ancient Legends Sometimes people just roll up to a random island and scream, 'This is the REAL Garden of Eden!' Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 26, 2020
The Idea Of Rebooting 'Twister' Blows The forecast says reboots continue to come in hard and fast. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 25, 2020
Segways Are Officially Dead; Condolences To Paul Blart And Gob Bluth RIP Segway, We Hardly Used Ye Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 24, 2020
DC Cinematic Universe Continues To Be A Messy Puzzle No, I'M Batman. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 23, 2020
Photo AI Just Assumes Everyone Is White The familiar face of digital racism. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 22, 2020
On Grooming And Power Imbalances Time to stand up and draw some conclusions. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 19, 2020
Netflix's 'Warrior Nun' Is The Closest We'll Get To A 'Buffy' Sequel Forgive me Father for I have slayed. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 18, 2020
5 Mating Rituals That Prove Nature's Freaky AF Even a David Attenborough voiceover couldn't class up the love life of the animal kingdom. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 18, 2020
Please, Hollywood, Let Stephen King Write His 'Friday The 13th' Fanfic Inside the mind of a machete murderer. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 17, 2020
Playing The Game 'EndeavorRx' Requires A Doctor's Prescription More of a potion than a tonic. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 16, 2020
Fox News Mistakes 'Monty Python' Quote As BLM Radical Agenda Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 15, 2020
Isaac Newton's Toad Vomit Plague Serum Sold For $80Gs When your only two options involve croaking. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 12, 2020
Nature Is Returning -- To F Us Up Animals have taken to the streets and they aren't giving them back. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 11, 2020
Radar Quad Bikes Uncover An Entire Lost Roman City An end to trench archeology-fare. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 10, 2020
Don't Worry If You Can't Follow 'Tenet's Plot (The Actors Couldn't Either) Christopher Nolan's entire career is now just an endlessly wobbly spinning top. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 09, 2020
'Looney Tunes' Is Back, But Elmer Fudd's Guns Aren't Be vewwy vewwy quiet, Second Amendment bwos. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 08, 2020
Totally Bonkers Emergency Plans Countries Prepped For Many of our civic institutions possess the calculated vision of a 5 AM drunk ordering 2,000 AA batteries off Amazon. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 08, 2020
Tired Of FaceTime? Good News, Rotary Cell Phones Are Here Finally, an excuse to not comb your hair. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 05, 2020
Sociopathic Influencers Are Posing As Protesters For Likes #AllLikesMatter Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 04, 2020
