Writer and editor for niche website Cracked.com. I am definitely not a shaved bear. For more attempts at witticisms and my personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow me @cedricvoets.
An Insane Secret Diary Was Written On The Floorboards Of A French Castle What's inside? Wood-n't you like to know? Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 26, 2020
Local News Is Giving Time To COVID Conspiracy Theorists And now, some complete bullshit. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 24, 2020
TikTok Witches Cursed The Moon, So What Happens Now? Hex goals. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 21, 2020
The 5 Dumbest Conspiracy Theories (Being Spread Right Now) QAnon, the dimmest bulbs to have ever taken on the Illuminati, are keeping busy. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 20, 2020
A 'John Wick' Joke Got A Coffee Bean Cocaine Ring Busted Who knew cops would be big fans of John Wick? Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 20, 2020
Behold, Donald Glover's Lost, Hilarious TV Show Theme Songs This truly is the darkest timeline. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 19, 2020
Guy From 'Westworld' Doesn't Like To Talk About His African Gold Mine Who knew being a celebrity gold digger would have negative consequences? Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 19, 2020
Now's Your Chance To Turn Your Backyard Into 'Jurassic Park' Welcome to Jurassic Auction. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 17, 2020
Blame Stanley Kubrick For Ruining The 'Matrix' Sequels All work and no play makes Neo a dull boy. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 14, 2020
'The Empire Strikes Back' Tops The Box Office, Time Has Lost All Meaning A long/brief/indeterminable time ago. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 13, 2020
Wait -- Leprechauns Are Actually Italian? A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, a pot of mama's bolognese at its origin. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 12, 2020
Missouri's Bizarre Modern-Day Lovecraftian Beauty Pageant The eldritch spirit of St. Louis Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 12, 2020
Saying Aliens Built Ancient Monuments Isn't Only Crazy, It's Racist Choosing the alien over the other. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 10, 2020
Ayn Rand Stans, Like Elon Musk, Sure Seem To Love Government Assistance Atlas Mooched Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 07, 2020
U.S. Congressional Candidate: Beyonce Is Not Black; She's An Undercover Italian It's a-me, Beyonceo! Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 06, 2020
Finland's Military Finally Got Rid Of Its Swastikas Turns out those things have a pretty sketchy history. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 03, 2020
Uh … QAnon Followers Are Winning Elections Tea Party 2.0 Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 02, 2020
Queer Eye Tried To Give Gritty A Makeover; Now Do Furries, You Cowards Do it. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 01, 2020
First COVID Drug Is Coming; Not That You Can Afford It Pills for the privileged, ventilators for the very poor. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 30, 2020
Sacha Baron Cohen's Newest Prank Is Totally Toothless Song of the Clout. Authors By Cedric Voets Published June 29, 2020
