Now's Your Chance To Turn Your Backyard Into 'Jurassic Park'
Are you tired of staring out the window at the same three pigeons on your lawn since April? Want something to break the monotony of our global cabin fever? If you live near Vancouver, Canada, or own a fleet of choppers and will spare no expense, you can soon turn your boring backyard into a Jurassic Park.
On August 9th, Able Auctions in British Columbia will open bidding on over fifty gigantic animatronic dinosaurs, including everyone's favorites, T.Rexes, triceratops, raptors and a 72-foot tall brontosaurus. The auction will also feature "hundreds of fossils, animatronic equipment, lighting, speakers and more." All you'd need, then, to run your own prehistoric amusement park from the confines of your nearest private island.
While Able Auctions has not released any information about the mysterious seller or answered our emails confirming if his name rhymes with Schmon Schmamond, The Vancouver Sun has surmised that the business in question is likely Experiential Media Group (Canada) Corp. They themselves had acquired the assets from Dinoking Tech Inc., an animatronics company started in 2007 which also dealt in Titanic artifacts in what appears to have been a business model based entirely on blockbusters from the mid-90s.
But before you become preoccupied with whether or not you could run a dino park, maybe stop to think if you should. During their brief existence, the dinomatronics generated scant revenue as a traveling exhibition touring cities all over the world. But since the company declared voluntary bankruptcy on May 5th, 2020, these dinos likely went belly up due to the coronavirus putting a halt to most massive events.
Those not keen on spending tens of thousands of Canadian dollars using an albertosaurus as a lawn ornament will still be able to marvel at these throwback wonders before they're divvied up. The auction house will allow a sighting of the decommissioned dinos on August 5th. So remember to put on a mask, wash your hands and head on down to Vancouver for a peek at an animatronic adventure 13 years in the making.
For more from the Ian Malcolm of dick jokes, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
Top Image: Able Auctions