Writer and editor for niche website Cracked.com. I am definitely not a shaved bear. For more attempts at witticisms and my personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow me @cedricvoets.
Mummies Got Packed With Mummy Snacks Looks like mummy’s back on the menu. Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 15, 2020
Grandma's Fancy Silverware Was Made By A Poly Commie Sex Cult Good thing she cleans it frequently. Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 14, 2020
Belgium's Crappy Construction Times Puts Every Other City's Crappy Construction Times To Shame I'm constructing a joke here, but you won't see it for another 20 years. Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 13, 2020
Howard Hughes Bought A Major Movie Studio ... To Ruin His Ex-Girlfriend's Career The big steal that led to 'The Big Steal.' Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 13, 2020
A Shady Mailing Service Was Pre-Internet Spotify All the unfair business practices, none of the bandwidth. Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 11, 2020
Immortality Potions Killed So Many Chinese Emperors In a row... Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 08, 2020
5 Crazypants Scientific Discoveries (Happening Right Now) There's been a lot of news lately, but science never sleeps. Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 07, 2020
Rock Out To Disneyland (Short-Lived) Sexy Prog-Rock Band Rock out with your Donald Duck out. Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 07, 2020
America's Most Corrupt City Handed Its Keys To Cobra Commander HAIL ILLINOIS! Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 06, 2020
Teddy Roosevelt Scarred A Young Dr. Seuss For Life Horton hears a bull moose. Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 06, 2020
So Amazon's Looking To Hire A Union Buster Now? Requires a B.A. in Snitching or equivalent degree. Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 02, 2020
America Wanted To Stop The Earth's Rotation To Trick Soviet Nukes Money makes the world go round. Rockets make the earth go stop. Authors By Cedric Voets Published September 01, 2020
Butts And Poop Were An Obsession For Renaissance Geniuses 'We are saved by farts, but the fart that saves is never alone.' Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 31, 2020
The Adult Industry Makes The Best PSAs This is legit the most informative guide to freelance work we've ever seen. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 30, 2020
Reminder: Sir Isaac Newton Was A Maniac Exhibit #31957 Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 29, 2020
The Crazy Real-Life Twist In George Orwell's '1984' Spies writing about spies spying on spies. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 28, 2020
Lord Byron Had A Special Cup (Made From A Monk's Skull) Lord of Boning *and* Bones. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 25, 2020
Abercrombie Had A Psycho Dress Code (For Its Accountants) Sartorial insanity. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 24, 2020
The Exciting Adventures Of Alexander The Great's Corpse Just because he's dead doesn't mean he can't get into trouble. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 23, 2020
Disney Workers Fought For The Right To Have Their Own Underpants Disney costumes are precious. Their employees' crotches, not so much. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 23, 2020
