Writer and editor for niche website Cracked.com. I am definitely not a shaved bear. For more attempts at witticisms and my personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow me @cedricvoets.
Grandparents Sculpt Life-Sized Totoro, Buy Lifetime Supply Of Grandkid Gratitude These strange creatures still exist in Japan. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 21, 2020
What Could Possibly Be In Twitch Streamer Dr. Disrespect Memoirs? No disrespect. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 18, 2020
Fire Tornados In California Puts Us At 6/10 On The Biblical Plagues Checklist Quick, find a pharaoh to drown. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 17, 2020
The Real Phantom Of The Opera Lived In Atlanta, Georgia Sacre blue, y'all. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 16, 2020
The Bizarre (And Terrible) Singing Career Of Clint Eastwood Sometimes actors can sing ... sometimes they can't. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 16, 2020
How Do You Fix A Racist Ice Cream Truck Jingle? Call RZA This banger is anything but vanilla. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 14, 2020
America Isn't Ready For A Eurovision-Style Contest Not enough pomp, too much circumstance. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 11, 2020
Goodbye American TikTok, We Hardly Knew Ye A roundup of an absurd experiment in youth culture. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 10, 2020
The Best Presidential Prediction Model (Is Dumb AF) It will shake you to your core. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 09, 2020
Behold! The Most Powerful (And Horny) Celebrity Couple Of All Time My favorite celebrity couple can rip the spines out of your favorite celebrity couple. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 09, 2020
Don't Worry: Gaming on Apple Will Suck Forever Hope you're into $19 indie puzzle games, because that's all you're getting. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 07, 2020
George R.R. Martin Got Into Some Racist Trouble At The Hugo Awards Old Martin yells at the cloud, tries to summon Cthulhu. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 04, 2020
8 Local Ads That Are Beautiful Madness Changing the world of advertising, one time-traveling lion at a time. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 03, 2020
'New York Times' Profiles Of NYC Hipsters Continue To Be Absolutely Insufferable Giving hipsters a bad name. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 03, 2020
America's First Black Female Tattoo Artist Smudged The Lines Of Segregation Black (ink) is beautiful. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 02, 2020
Nikola Tesla's Biggest Coil Turned Butterflies Into Blue Balls Of Fire Goodness gracious. Authors By Cedric Voets Published August 02, 2020
So, How Are Terrorists Holding Up During This? Evil in the time of corona. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 31, 2020
Sorry, Writing Reddit Creepypasta Still Isn't A Path Into Hollywood 'My Wife and I Bought A Ranch' is, despite appearances, a likely success story. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 28, 2020
Bizarre Scam Has Chinese Students In Australia Kidnapping Themselves Flunking out of the University of Life. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 27, 2020
A Fingerprint Inside Of A Banknote Caught Romania's Greatest Counterfeiter A smudge on his reputation. Authors By Cedric Voets Published July 26, 2020
