Fox News Mistakes 'Monty Python' Quote As BLM Radical Agenda

Fox News, the night light for bitter boomers who fall asleep in recliners, has had plenty of trash ideas about the Black Lives Matter protests, portraying the activists as looters, thugs, and insidious leftists. And in its opinion, there's no dimmer beacon of said radical liberalism than the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone, the ongoing protest block party in Seattle that has formally uninvited cops after their disgracefully violent behavior during the marches.

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According to Fox, the CHAZ is nothing more than a den of lawlessness run by communists, anarchists, and the most dangerous leftists of all: Arthurian dirt farmers.

Fox News has never let a little thing like accurate reporting get in the way of a good story. For example, it's still acting like the Seattle Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone is currently being ruled over by Soundcloud rapper and "warlord" Raz Simone -- not understanding how either anarchism or Soundcloud rap clout works in the real world. During an episode of The Story, Fox News host Martha MacCallum used social media posts to prove that the fractured CHAZ leftists were planning a "rebellion against Raz Simone," using social media posts to highlight infighting between the lawless factions who'd prefer to erode American society as an "anarcho-syndicalist commune."

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But the only thing that particular post proves is that no one at Fox News spent their highschool years buried in a basement playing D&D and quoting Doctor Who. That post, in fact, was a mocking reference to a scene in Monty Python and The Holy Grail, where the self-important King Arthur encounters a fiefdom that's been taking over by anarcho-socialists peasants who aren't about to swear fealty to some crowned warlord just because he thinks God gave him a special bread knife to oppress the people with.

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And while it's not true that the socialist serfs of the CHAZ are in favor of electing its next mayor by having them fetch a sword from Lake Washington, what's also false is the anarchist hellscape of the zone that Fox pundits like MacCallum are trying to paint. By all accounts of actual reporters inside the six boogie blocks, where the SCPD has withdrawn its police presence to deescalate tensions between cops and protestors, the CHAZ has an "exceedingly chill" vibe. With its chalk street art, vendor stalls, outdoor movie screenings, and No Cop Co-Op handing out free vegan pizza, the decopified zone feels more like a hippie commune hosting an art fair than an Escape from New York-style Thunderdome.

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And Fox is by no account the only rightwing reactionary pretending the artsy Seattle neighborhood is turning into the Terror 2.0. The protesters/occupiers have been accused of extorting local businesses, having armed Antifa mobs patrol the streets and spreading anarchist teachings -- all without a shred of evidence. Even Fallout Vault NPC Donald Trump has called these peaceful protesters "Domestic Terrorists" [sic] since the president cannot be anything but terrified of the kind of psychopaths who can engage in such inhuman acts as liking vegan pizza.

Which once again begs the question: Are conservatives actually that scared of a band of assistant professors and BLM activists teaming up to prove that defunding the teargas-happy police wouldn't plunge the country into chaotic violence? Or are they intentionally spreading false information to sabotage the experiment -- maybe because they're just a little bit jealous that their own armed bands of survivalist militiamen are more scared of pushing back against the government than a bunch of Seattle hipsters with a cause?

For more weird tangents and bougie radicalism, do follow Cedric on Twitter.

Top Image: EMI Films

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