Cracked Archive - Weird World

Why Growing Hamburgers in a Lab Will Doom Us All

Last week, Dutch scientists provided the answer to a question nobody had asked when they announced the successful creation of laboratory-grown meat.

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5 Mysterious Disappearances (That Were Elaborate Hoaxes)

When things got tough, these people decided it was time to disappear under the cover of a grossly implausible story.

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5 Terrifyingly Advanced Ways Animals Know How to Kill

Whether you know it or not, humanity is fighting a war right now. While you're over there on the other side of this screen, microwaving tea and knitting tiny sweaters, that bitch is out there building biological superweapons 24/7.

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4 Things The Jeremy Lin Story Reveals About Modern Racism

Here are some types of ... racial perception problems that don't necessarily involve hate or bad intentions, but are still annoying as hell.

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9 Foreign Words the English Language Desperately Needs

While we were busy fumbling with hand gestures and illustrations like cavemen, other cultures just made up the perfect words and phrases to encapsulate those little everyday moments filled with ... uh ... je ne sais quoi.

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5 Tips for Writing the Perfect Eulogy (For Someone You Hate)

Every once in awhile, a third party will mistake your life-long rivalry/mutual hatred for a competitive friendship and ask you to speak at a funeral for one of your enemies. A funeral you only planned on attending to see your adversary locked helplessly in a box and buried.

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The 5 Most Insane Duels Ever Fought

A couple of hundred years ago, the proper method to resolve any dispute was to stand a few feet apart and shoot at each other until somebody died. It was a more civilized time.

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Adventures of the Dog Who Doesn't Give a F#@%

Men, read this aloud to your women.

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7 Steps to Being the Worst Houseguest Ever

How to get evicted when you're just crashing on someone's couch.

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8 Rules for Not Sucking at Public Transportation

Like many of you, I rely on public transportation to get to work. But unlike many of you, I don't do it like a jerk.

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5 Things Nobody Tells You About Adopting a Dog

When I was financially and emotionally prepared for the responsibility, I decided to go out and get a dog. And that's when the Gods that govern dog laws decided 'Hey, not so fast. You still have to learn some terrible, terrible lessons first.'

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The 7 People Who Turn Every Parking Lot into a War Zone

There are always those bad apples who mess things up for the rest of us, and that's especially true in the parking lot. Here are seven people who turn every parking lot into a war zone.

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Undercover With Nature’s Creepiest Predator: Old People

I refuse to be embarrassed about my fear of the elderly. Old people are terrifying because they have attracted the attention of death.

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4 Reasons Humans Will Never Understand Each Other

We have created a society that is almost sitcomlike in its huge, but simple, misunderstandings. It would be hilarious if the results weren't so tragic.

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