An 80-Year-Old International Jewel Thief
Let's say you work security in a jewelry store and the proprietor lets you know that a very expensive diamond ring is missing. The only customer who looked at it was a tiny old woman who merely wanted to try it on. It may interest you to know that you've just fallen victim to one of the most prolific international jewel thieves in the world.
And that's why you should always tear gas the elderly whenever you encounter them.
The jewel thief in question is Doris Payne, and she is currently serving a five-year prison sentence for the theft of an $8,900 diamond ring. But larceny is nothing new for Doris; she's been doing it almost every month for the past 50 years.
Payne's method was very slick. She would dress as a fancy, well-off woman and head to the jewelry store. Using her charm and good looks to confuse the clerk, Payne would ask to try on many different pieces, often causing them to forget how many items they had taken out. In the confusion, she would shift the rings from hand to hand and then finally declare that she'd "think about" the purchase and leave, becoming a few thousand dollars richer in the process. The clerks wouldn't discover that they were a ring short until after Payne had left the store.
Wheeling out just ahead of an incredibly slow-moving explosion.
Payne traveled the world, stealing from shops in Paris, Greece, England and Japan. Sometimes she got caught, but most times, she didn't. In fact, she once MacGyvered a diamond from its ring setting when she was in custody and sewed the diamond into her girdle, which prevented authorities from finding the stolen merchandise. She was eventually profiled, and a major search for the jewel thief went into effect.
Wanted: Al Capone, Grandma ...