Cracked Archive - Weird World

5 New Products That Prove Humanity Is Doomed

While a Snuggie is just a stupid invention, there's a whole different layer, a subculture, if you will, of products that bring shame not just to the people who made them or may use them, but to reality as a whole.

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5 Rules of Convenience Store Etiquette (Everyone Breaks)

Making sure your local convenience store lives up to the promise of its name is a team effort. Here are a few simple rules you can follow to help make it happen.

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The 5 Weirdest Things That Can Cause You to Be More Racist

There are all sorts of random factors in your environment and biology that bring out your inner asshole. And sure enough, the science suggests that all manner of strange things trigger racist behavior.

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9 Simple Tasks That No One in a Commercial Can Do Right

Everyone selling these products seems to be living in some kind of dystopian dimension where even most mundane task is a struggle. I've collected data from countless miracle washcloths and smoothie makers to compile this list of nine simple things no one in a commercial can do.

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Photoplasty

24 Small Things You Don't Miss Until They're Gone

In a world where appearance is everything, it's amazing how vastly different the

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The 4 Greatest Things in Life (Everyone Manages to Ruin)

Just FYI: I know one of you, and it's just one, eats bacon-wrapped bacon every day, has sex with supermodels, and gets paid to play video games, and this article means nothing to you aside from my hilarious jokes, and that's OK. No need to comment.

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The 5 Creepiest Foreign Versions of Disney Fairy Tales

It seems these tellers put their own little twists on the tale. Their insane, gut-wrenching, nightmarish twists.

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5 Simple Problems Technology Should Have Fixed by Now

Sometimes the simplest tasks are left behind by the unceasing forward march of technological development, where they sit huddled, frightened, and alone -- left to die in the vast and unforgiving tundra of obsolescence.

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So You've Swapped Bodies With Your Mortal Enemy

'Well, we'll table the issue of how demolished you were last night for now. Try looking around for clues. Can you figure out whose room this is? Are parts of their body anywhere?'

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5 Things You Never Want to See at an Open Mic

No matter the format, it's almost always an awful time, and if you want to be a comic, it's an awful time you have to force yourself to have over and over and over again if you ever hope to spend enough time onstage to not be terrible.

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5 Ridiculous Things Adults Do Thanks to Peer Pressure

According to a dozen videos I watched in high school, peer pressure will/did ruin my life and made me butt chug heroin-laced vodka and snort all the marijuanas ever. I typed this article from my hospital bed. All teenagers are the devil.

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6 Seemingly Simple Tasks Everybody Sucks At

Life is hard and filled with failure. Think of it as a raging erection, but replace the forthcoming ejaculant with failure. Did that help? Somehow I don't think that helped.

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