Eric and Veronica spend the next week mourning their loss together and growing closer as they bond over Chris' death, traveling together to Chris' hometown for his funeral and some manly superhero cry sessions.
Ant-Man #3 "Funny story -- I was kinda responsible for your boyfriend's untimely death. Let's bone."
After the funeral, they again find each other for comfort and support, and eventually their grief comes out in the form of a teary-eyed make-out session in the rain.
Ant-Man #3 You wouldn't have thought it, but Ant-Man's shrinking power is a surprise hit with the ladies.
Pretty standard romance, right?
Actually, when we say "after the funeral," we mean exactly that. As in "directly after the funeral." As in "they're standing on the freshly piled dirt atop Chris' earthly tomb." This could be seen as an acceptable part of their mutual mourning process, except for the fact that they are currently in a graveyard, making out directly on Chris' grave a week after his death. You can leave a Big Mac out on the counter for longer than that and eat it without a problem. And soon, they fall down to the grave itself to get their bone on:
Ant-Man #3 Boy, everyone else must've just left immediately after the service.
So the guy is rotting six feet below his best friend and his girlfriend rolling in the dirt, tearing each other's clothes off and teetering on the edge of vaginal boniferation. Finally, Veronica cuts it off before it becomes the full-fledged deed, leaving Eric sitting in front of his buddy's tombstone with balls more blue than any grief-stricken mourner in the entire cemetery. Presumably he then went home to "wrestle with his guilt."
Ant-Man #3 "Hey, buddy, just keep on saying nothing if it's cool for me to rub one out here."
For more from E.D. Gonzalez, check out Gonzo's Warriors Blog. D. McCallum has more nerd comedy that you can check out here, or you can follow her on Twitter here.
For more ways comic books frighten us, check out The 6 Creepiest Comic Book Characters of All Time and The 5 Creepiest Sex Scenes in Comics.