The 17 Most Important Things Said About the 2012 NFL Draft

5:08 CodyJohnston: Everyone's going to want Richardson.

5:09 Sorenb: Weedon will fall to the second round, I think. He's not that great.

5:09 CodyJohnston: This Bud Light Blue Room makes me want an ice cold Blue Moon.

5:09 CodyJohnston: Or just, not a Bud Light, I guess.

5:09 Sorenb: Andrew Luck looks and sounds like a regular sized Andre the Giant.

5:10 CodyJohnston: Speaking of products, I just have to bring up Old Spice right now.

5:10 Comment From Chris Oh shit a brandon stokley jersey

5:10 Sorenb: Finally I can wear mine again!

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Put a helmet on Soren and they could be twins.

5:10 Comment From Edward why is Luck considered better t3 RG

5:11 CodyJohnston: Not because Old Spice is sponsoring this, but because I just really like Old Spice and would recommend it to whomever asked me what deodorant they should use.

5:11

CodyJohnston: If Old Spice wasn't sponsoring this, I would still want to take a moment and talk about Old Spice.

5:11 Sorenb: He's a better allaround quarterback. He makes smarter decisions. RG3 is really good but he's also more of a running quarterback which hasn't traditionally done well in the NFL.

5:11 Comment From Jesse Soren who do you think will best compliment manning out of the draft?

5:11 CodyJohnston: I've used it since high school, and it's never caused any problems for me. In fact, it's fixed some problems. Like, body odor problems and so on.

5:12 CodyJohnston: Not that I have body odor problems or anything.

5:12 CodyJohnston: (ladies)

5:12 Sorenb: Kendall Wright or Stephen Hill, The Broncos won't take a WR until the second round though. They need a defense.

5:12 Comment From Cuyler Who will have the best rookie season: Dontari Poe, Luke Keuchly or Courtney Upshaw?

5:13 Sorenb: Dontari Poe. He's going to be awesome.

5:13 CodyJohnston: Sorry, I got distracted by my love of Old Spice that is not at all influenced by the fact that they're sponsoring this.

5:13 CodyJohnston: What did I miss?

5:13 CodyJohnston: Hugs?

5:13 CodyJohnston: Looks like I missed a lot of people hugging each other.

5:14 Sorenb: RG3 barely fits in that gigantic suit.

5:14 Sorenb: When he hugs people it looks like his shoulder blades are about to explode out of it.

5:14 Comment From John Soren, can you verify that Cody does not have body odor problems?

5:14 CodyJohnston: Those have to be shoulder pads.

5:14 Sorenb: He smells like pine nuts and gasoline.

5:20 Sorenb: Man, this part of the draft is so boring.

5:20 CodyJohnston: Soren was just sarcastically surprised about whatever just happened on TV.

5:21 CodyJohnston: He was all "Oh, get out of TOWN."

5:21 Comment From RG3Skins Dolphins might move up.

5:21 CodyJohnston: And I was all "Heh heh, yeah. Totally expected. Heh heh."

5:21 CodyJohnston: They weren't nervous laughs at all.

5:21 Sorenb: They just want Ryan Tannehill, and no one else wants him.

5:21 CodyJohnston: Not at all.

5:22 CodyJohnston: "Man, this part of the draft is so boring." Soren, just now.

5:22 Comment From Paul What about the Jags? They need a WR bad, shouldn't they move up?

5:22 CodyJohnston: "Man, this part of the draft is so boring." me, literally any moment in time.

5:22 Sorenb: No one should take a WR in the first round. They under perform all the time.

5:22 Sorenb: Michael Floyd will be good but Blackmon will be a bust.

5:23 Comment From Buddhafw There's a dikta in your sister, and she is laying on the couch...

5:23 Sorenb: I'm lost track of the question now. Are we still fighting something?

5:23 Comment From Captain Ventris Soren, which draft pick will be the next celebrity to stalk you?

5:23 CodyJohnston: Alyssa Milano

5:24 Sorenb: Courtney Upshaw. He won't stop calling.

5:31 Sorenb: whoops, "shock"

5:31 CodyJohnston: Specifically, Old Spice sports deodorant.

5:31 Comment From Jack What will it take for the Cowboys to win the super bowl?

5:31 CodyJohnston: But it didn't have to be that.

5:32 CodyJohnston: Any old Old Spice product would do.

5:32 Sorenb: You're being ridiculous.

5:32 CodyJohnston: FIFTH PICK IN A SECOND

5:32 Sorenb: Well there goes my credibility.

5:33 Sorenb: Blackmon is going to Jacksonville. Apparently the pundits aren't listening to me at all.

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SOME people prefer stacks of money to vindicating Internet comedy writers.

5:33 CodyJohnston: Now, when they say fifth pick...

5:33 CodyJohnston: That's fifth out of how many?

5:33 Sorenb: Cody, just...so many.

5:34 CodyJohnston: Like seven or something?

5:34 Sorenb: More, even more than that.

5:37 Sorenb: Keep your head in the game, Cody.

5:38 Comment From Anthony Hey Soren, as an NFL fan, what are your thoughts on Rugby?

5:38 CodyJohnston: "Head in the game".

5:38 CodyJohnston: Another sports phrase for me to remember.

5:38 CodyJohnston: Thanks, Soren.

5:38 Sorenb: I have nothing against it. It seems pretty agreeable. I like any game where people tape their ears to their heads.

5:39 Comment From Guest Cody, how many rundownscorepointhoopruns do you think Justin Blackmon will score this season? I hope several.

5:39 Comment From Bradford Which player, or position, are you most afraid the Broncos are going to pick if they screw the pooch?

5:39 CodyJohnston: I only recognized one of the words you just used.

5:39 CodyJohnston: But, yes, my name is Cody.

5:39 Sorenb: I think they might try to get a running back early which would ruin everything. They can afford to wait until the second or third round.

5:40 CodyJohnston: For football players, these guys sure are wearing a lot of baseball hats.

5:40 Comment From Darcy soren and cody, who are your favorite college teams to watch?

5:40 Sorenb: Boise State and Iowa. Cody, who do you like?

5:40 CodyJohnston: I went to The Ohio State University.

5:41 CodyJohnston: That's the closest thing to an answer that I can give you.

5:43 CodyJohnston: Seriously, I think Tyrion Lannister could go all the way.

5:43 CodyJohnston: He's been coming up a little short.

5:44 CodyJohnston: But he's got the stats and the smarts.

5:44 CodyJohnston: He just lacks the drive and ambition.

5:44 Sorenb: Cody, Tyrion has zero field IQ. I guarantee no one will even say his name today.

5:45 Sorenb: Mark Barron was a surprise.

5:45 CodyJohnston: WTF with Mark Barron is one of my favorite podcasts.

5:45 Sorenb: Where's his sports coat? How do we know he's, you know...sporty?

5:46 CodyJohnston: Soren, I think you've got your numbers wrong.

5:46 CodyJohnston: Don't jump the gun. I wouldn't count out Tyrion just yet.

5:46 Sorenb: It's weird how they always call players from Alabama "Bama Product"

5:47 CodyJohnston: But, seriously, football players, enough with the baseball hats.

5:47 Sorenb: These are people.

5:47 Comment From Joe Soren, speaking of Tampa safetys, who is your favorite of the Barber twins?

5:47 Sorenb: Tiki, his teeth are glorious.

5:48 Sorenb: Marion had so much hair his nose was almost touching his facemask.

5:48 Comment From daniel Soren, what are your thoughts on John Gruden? Hot or not?

5:49 Sorenb: His hair you can argue with, his hair you cannot.

5:49 Sorenb: Well that didn't make a lot of sense.

5:49 Sorenb: I think he's a great coach, and a mediocre announcer.

5:55 Sorenb: Well, it turns out I'm terrible at this.

5:55 Comment From Daniel I voted for Matt Kalil in the last poll because as an OLineman, he is big, hearty, and strong... and like all lineman, underestimated in the brains department.

5:56 Sorenb: You are smarter than me.

5:56 CodyJohnston: I don't want to steer things away from the draft or bring everyone down or anything, but I bet Joffrey Baratheon is raping an adorable puppy right now.

5:56 Comment From that guy I'm a broncos fan with the addition of manning what else do you think they need to go to the superbowl?

5:57 Sorenb: Like, a thousand things. A safety, a running back, two guys on the defensive line.

5:57 Sorenb: Oh, so I guess 3 then.

5:57 Sorenb: No, wait 4.

5:58 CodyJohnston: I just got word that there's a whole football team named after people named Bill.

5:58 CodyJohnston: That must make a couple thousand people feel really f*#%ing great about themselves.

6:01 CodyJohnston: This draft is a real nailbiter.

6:01 CodyJohnston: Makin' me sweat.

6:01 CodyJohnston: Good thing I'm wearing Old Spice.

6:01 Comment From Eli Sorry its Peytons computer, he just gave me a swirly for using it.

6:01 CodyJohnston: And, again, I would be wearing it even if this wasn't sponsored by Old Spice.

6:01 Sorenb: Good. Now get back to your finger paints.

6:01 CodyJohnston: I know this sounds like a bit, like I'm doing a bit about being sponsored by Old Spice...

6:02 Comment From Joe Who would be drafted first in the Cracked flag football league?

6:02 CodyJohnston: But if this were sponsored by Bud Light (drink responsibly), and someone for some stupid reason asked "What deodorant do you use?", I would answer "Old Spice" and it would be an honest answer.

6:02 CodyJohnston: You don't have to believe me.

6:02 Sorenb: Seanbaby, Jack O'Brien and maybe Cody as a possible dark horse.

6:02 CodyJohnston: I don't expect you to.

6:02 CodyJohnston: Because, come on, this is sponsored by Old Spice.

6:03 Sorenb: Michael won't take it seriously and Brockway doesn't have the competitive spirit.

6:03 CodyJohnston: But I very seriously use it anyway, and I don't know what else to say to get you to believe me.

6:03 CodyJohnston: Regardless, good stuff.

6:03 CodyJohnston: Good stuff, that Old Spice.

6:04 Sorenb: Noooooooo

6:04 Comment From Old Spice Corporate Cody what kind of beer do you drink?

6:05 Sorenb: John Cheese is a loose cannon, I couldn't get him to play hard on every down for us.

6:05 CodyJohnston: I am contractually obligated to say Old Spice.

6:05 Sorenb: He also might hurt someone.

6:05 CodyJohnston: But if I weren't contractually obligated to say that, I would still say it.

6:05 CodyJohnston: I've drank it since high school, and I stand by it as a reliable, delicious product.

6:05 CodyJohnston: Regardless of the fact that this is sponsored by Old Spice.

6:06 CodyJohnston: Drink responsibly.

6:17 CodyJohnston: Just kidding, I'm a big fan of the other ones.

6:17 CodyJohnston: One of the animal teams.

6:17 Sorenb: No, there are still a lot of good defensive linemen out there. Jerel Worthy, maybe?

6:18 CodyJohnston: The parakeets or whatever.

6:18 Sorenb: Ugh.

6:18 CodyJohnston: Sorry. I mean the Parakeets.

6:18 CodyJohnston: No disrespect.

6:18 Sorenb: There are no parakeets.

6:18 Sorenb: Pick a predator, Cody.

6:19 Comment From Bryan Soren, how many hours did you spend researching prior to this chat so that you would have something to say?

6:19 Sorenb: Man, so many hours.

6:24 CodyJohnston: I mean, they're okay.

6:24 CodyJohnston: Walk Like an Egyptian is overplayed, and that's like the only song of theirs I can think of.

6:25 Sorenb: I've declared myself open for the draft for the past six years.

6:25 CodyJohnston: But, sure, I'm a "Bengals" fan.

6:25 Sorenb: So far, no bites.

6:25 CodyJohnston: Wait, I just looked it up.

6:25 CodyJohnston: I'll pass on the Bengals, but can I be a Reds fan?

6:25 Comment From Daniel Soren, if Zooey Deschanel were eligible for this year's draft, where would she be likely to go

6:25 CodyJohnston: I think Barry Larkin could go all the way this year.

6:25 Sorenb: She'd go to San Diego, I'd hope. I'd love to see her ruin their season.

6:26 Sorenb: Cody! That's a Red. That's an old Red.

6:26 Sorenb: You can't pick retired baseball players.

6:27 CodyJohnston: I don't know, man. Chris Sabo's had some good length and drives this year.

6:27 CodyJohnston: He could go all the way.

6:27 Comment From Daniel Soren, in which round will you most likely lose interest in this whole thing and just start shooting mouthwash?

6:27 Sorenb: Seriously, how did you know I do that?

6:31 Comment From Alexsander Cody, what could they add to Star Wars to make you not watch it?

6:31 CodyJohnston: Prequels.

6:31 Comment From Alex So...what do you guys think about Bruce Irvin's "Explosive GetOff?"

6:32 CodyJohnston: Or, like, a bunch of really forced corporate tieins.

6:32 Sorenb: I honestly didn't even have Bruce Irvin in the first round.

6:32 Sorenb: I know next to nothing about him.

6:32 CodyJohnston: Like if instead of "Old Ben" Kenobi, they called him "Old Spice" Kenobi.6:33 Sorenb: "Make perspiration...disappear."

6:34 CodyJohnston: Or if Han was like "I made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, and then I used Old Spice because I was just so sweaty, seriously YUCKERS."

6:34 CodyJohnston: Actually, if Han said stuff like "yuckers", I'd probably watch Star Wars more.

6:35 Comment From Chim Soren, do you think the jets will trade this pick for Tim Tebow again?

6:35 Sorenb: Well done.

6:35 Comment From Joe Soren who do you think makes the superbowl this year?

6:35 Sorenb: The Broncos. The Denver Broncos.

6:38 Comment From Adam Tod Brown Soren. You're out of your mind. The Broncos aren't making the Super Bowl. Your QB doesn't even have feeling in the left side of his body.

6:39 Sorenb: Hey, it's another columnist everyone. Except he seems to have mistaken a minor injury for a stroke.

6:39 Comment From Chim Cody, its the intergalactic draft and you have the first pick, who do you take?

6:39 CodyJohnston: Gaius Baltar

6:39 Sorenb: Man, Big and Tall must have made a killing on suits before this draft.

6:39 CodyJohnston: He's got great instincts and can survive anything.

6:39 CodyJohnston: And he knows about farming.

6:40 CodyJohnston: Which I assume would help because there's grass in football.

6:40 Comment From Chim Soren, do you believe in drafting the best player, or what the team needs?

6:40 Sorenb: They are usually the same thing. But if you can't draft who you need then I always think you try to trade back.

6:41 Sorenb: You can't do anything with 6 great receivers.

6:41 Comment From Bobbo Adam is right. The Broncos won't win the division.

6:41 CodyJohnston: Oh, and Manic Monday.

6:42 CodyJohnston: Another good Cincinnati Bangles song.

6:42 Sorenb: Yes they will. Unless Dontari Poe is allowed to play by himself in Arrowhead stadium.

6:43 Comment From Kylie Soren, could you speculate wildly about a subject of your choosing? (Cody could do this too, I suppose)

6:43 Sorenb: Why does Garfield hate Mondays? He doesn't even have a job!

6:44 Sorenb: Also, he can't mail Nermal on Sundays, if anything he should like Mondays because the post office is open again.

6:50 Comment From Kristi

I asked Cody if he knows the song 'Eternal Flame' a long time ago. Why wasn't my question answered? (That was a question for Soren.)

6:50 Comment From sam Are you guys giving eachother high fives every time you're able to put a pun to an answer?

6:51 Sorenb: We're not answering that, we just wanted everyone else to see it so it was in their heads.

7:17 Sorenb: Oh, sorry Cody. You had a thing going.

7:17 CodyJohnston: No, it's cool.

7:17 CodyJohnston: I'm a fan of soccer, too.

7:17 CodyJohnston: Tie.

7:17 CodyJohnston: See?

7:19 Sorenb: Nice work.

7:19 CodyJohnston: There are a lot of "Okay, but are you a fan of _____?" questions coming in.

7:19 CodyJohnston: "No."

7:26 Comment From D What is up with all the Old Spice plugs?

7:26 CodyJohnston: I don't know what you're talking about.

7:27 Comment From Kevin Sorenb, what do you recommend for a recovering Browns fan?

7:27 Sorenb: Detroit is pretty close right?

7:27 Comment From Whitfield I have a question that only Soren could answer. I don't watch football, so what the hell is an RG3 and why is it so lucky? Is it the new Droid model?

7:28 Sorenb: Yes. That's exactly right. (Hint: We have the same Internet)

7:37 CodyJohnston: Or, I don't know, one of the other birds.

7:37 CodyJohnston: Ravens or Hufflepuffs or whatever.

7:37 Sorenb: Oh. Oh no.

7:38 Sorenb: Cody's ignorance of football extends all the way into the animal kingdom.

7:38 Sorenb: It's that deep.

7:38 Comment From Not Me What do you think north koreas odds are of winning the superbowl this year?

7:38 CodyJohnston: I haven't been keeping up with my phyla.

7:39 Sorenb: I think Kim Jong Un could be an amazing guard.

7:39 Comment From Codysmom you coming home for dinner?

7:39 CodyJohnston: Mom, I'm working.

7:39 CodyJohnston: Geez.

7:40 Sorenb: Nick Perry. I genuinely think he's underrated. He's going to be really good.

7:41 CodyJohnston: Nick Perry quit the presidential election to get drafted to the Packers?

7:41 CodyJohnston: I never understood that guy.

7:41 Comment From Sorinbisawesome Hey Sorin, you single?

7:42 CodyJohnston: Guardians of Ga'Hoole aren't allowed to date.

7:42 Sorenb: This is a poor effort.

7:42 Comment From Steve Cody, which draft pick has been your favorite so far?

7:42 CodyJohnston: I really like the guy who went to the team because his points were high from earlier in the games.

7:43 Sorenb: I've always said, there is no "I" in Soren. If you really think about it, we're all in this together.