There's sort of a weird dynamic in the world of sports commentary where red-blooded sports-watching men have to tiptoe around certain subjects as delicately as Victorian gentlemen. Because of this, they end up using these euphemistic code words that are in some ways almost worse than just dissing people straight out.
In the Olympics as we know them today, new events have to go through a long process of careful consideration before inclusion in the esteemed games. Baseball and Softball have recently been cut, for example, while Rugby and golf have made inexplicable comebacks. We can't just have any random spastic game of Calvinball gaining entry into the pinnacl
Here are six events everyone knows as the greatest in the history of sport, and the true stories that actually beat their pants off.
Unlike LARPing, sports give you a free pass to act ridiculous and buy all sorts of crazy crap.
The only thing more boring than a game of golf is a steaming pot of brown whole grain rice, and even that is a close call. Over the past few years, we've learned there are two ways to make golf interesting: One involves lightsaber golf clubs and the other involves injecting some homicidal golf courses into the game. Since lightsaber technology is,
I'm currently in last place in this year's pool, and with 0 teams remaining in the final 4, the mathematical odds of me winning are... not actually there. So is my situation hopeless? Over the span of my lifetime, yes, but in this specific instance, no. It just means that I can't use math to win. Which is fine, because winners don't use math.
Talent, hard work, desire -- they're all nice if you're trying to get to the top of your sport. But all other things being equal, there are a few other factors that give one side the edge.
Little kids learn how to ride bikes before they learn how to tie their shoes -- which is way more dangerous than it sounds after reading this article.
A closer look at Roethlisberger's statements from Super Bowl Media Day.
Geologists can't explain why the ground shook for a moment, but wise men say that it was the erections of ancient war gods raging under the Earth.
Any professional wrestler will tell you that the hardest part of the job is coming up with your gimmick. You need to be outrageous and distinctive without being ridiculous. It's a subtle art, one not easily mastered.
Something about professional sports brings out all the dog-fighting, child-eating, ear-biting lunatics. But is it really fair to mock a man for eating a human ear when that man also gave you your favorite childhood Nintendo game? Of course not. That's why I'm counting down only the athletes who had more crazy than they had talent.
While, most football fans consider the reality/soap world of shows like The Hills and celebrity gossip to be the gayest thing ever, deep down those worlds are a lot closer than you'd think.