Ahh, burritos. The catalyst to midnight cravings, bean-induced gas, and positive performance-enhancing drug tests? Earlier this week record-breaking American middle-distance runner and Olympic hopeful Shelby Houlihan tested positive for an anabolic steroid called Nandrolone, leaving her banned from the upcoming Tokyo games less than one week out from the U.S. Olympic track and field trials and potentially facing a four-year ban from the sport. Despite the test's questionable results, Houlihan, maintains her innocence, alleging that the positive test was the result of *checks notes* a fancy pork burrito?

“I feel completely devastated, lost, broken, angry, confused and betrayed by the very sport that I loved and poured myself into just to see how good I was,” the star athlete wrote in a statement posted to Instagram. “I want to be very clear: I’ve never taken any performance-enhancing substances, and that includes the one of which I have been accused.”

First learning she tested positive for a banned substance via email this January, the runner says she was initially unfamiliar with the drug she was accused of ingesting. “When I got that email, I had to read it over about ten times and google what it was that I had just tested positive for,” she explained. “I had never even heard of nandrolone. I have since learned that it has long been understood by WADA (World Anti-Doping Agency) that eating pork can lead to a false positive for nandrolone, since certain types of pigs produce it naturally in high amounts. Pig organ meat (offal) has the highest levels of nandrolone." 

After creating an extensive food log “of everything that I consumed the week of that December 15 test,” she realized a local food truck may have been the culprit of her positive test. “We concluded that the most likely explanation was a burrito purchased and consumed approximately 10 hours before that drug test from an authentic Mexican food truck that serves pig offal near my house in Beaverton, Oregon,” she continued. “I notified the AIU that I believed this was the source.”

The runner's lawyer also doubled down on this notion, adding that although runners may treat themselves to a delicious burrito from time to time, they aren't likely to benefit from the steroid in question. “It is not a substance any runner would take,” explained attorney Paul Greene, who has represented athletes accused of taking performace enhancing drugs, per the Washington Post. 

However, it seems that officials remain unsure of whether or not she's telling the truth. “I did everything I could to prove my innocence. I passed a polygraph test. I had my hair sampled by one of the world's foremost toxicologists,” Houlihan continued. "Wada agreed that test proved that there was no build-up of this substance in my body, which there would have been if I were taking it regularly."

So folks, next time you have a drug test, maybe go for pasta instead, lest you find yourself temporarily banned from your favorite sport. 

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ on TikTok as @HuntressThompson_, and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.

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