Cracked Archive - News
It's Not 4th of July; Knock It Off With The Fireworks
Our world's on fireworks. How bout yours?
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 23, 2020
VICE Is Suing The Government Over A Dog's Genitals
Everyone knows that all dogs are boys anyway.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- June 23, 2020
5 Real Bosses Straight From The Bowels Of Hell
Sometimes you become the CEO because you're really, really evil.
- By Adam S.
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- June 23, 2020
How TurboTax (Secretly) Makes Your Taxes A Nightmare
TurboTax is actually one of the primary reasons doing your taxes sucks so much.
- By Jordan Breeding
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- June 22, 2020
Nashville Newspaper Publishes A Bananapants BS Warning Of Islamic Nuclear Attack
You don’t have to explain to us the tyranny of advertisement over media, but this is ridiculous.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- June 22, 2020
Overlooked News Stories That Deserve Some Attention
Breaking News: Important, interesting things happened.
- By Andrea Meno
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- June 20, 2020
Now You Know: Pizza-Hustling Dead-Drunk In His Underwear Boris Yeltsin & Other Wild Facts
Bite-size facts to feed your brain.
- By AM Smiley, Chris Pauls
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- June 19, 2020
Hotel's Reopening Ad Is Scarier Than 'The Shining'
What if abandoned hotel, but full of living mannequins?
- By Amanda Mannen
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- June 19, 2020
Fox News Admits Tucker Carlson Isn't To Be Taken Seriously
It's been years in the making, but they've finally said the quiet part out loud.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 18, 2020
Mommy England Is Threatening To Take Away Our Tear Gas
We're just not responsible enough to use it.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- June 18, 2020
Aunt Jemima Is Getting A Long Overdue Rebranding
Now someone just has to do something about the football team in Washington.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 17, 2020
6 Good Dogs (We Clearly Don't Deserve)
We realize this is a controversial statement, but we're going to come out and say it anyway: dogs are good.
- By Ryan Menezes
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- June 17, 2020
NYPD Gets Weird Poops, Claims Shake Shack 'Poisoned' Them
Get over yourself: They’re conspiring to poison all of us.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- June 17, 2020
How Cops In Other Countries Treat Firearms
Even the reporting of firearm deaths in this country is subpar.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 16, 2020
Don't Trash-Talk eBay; They Might Threaten You Mafia-Style
Your grandma's favorite website turned into the CIA-mafia when we weren't looking.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- June 16, 2020
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