Cracked Archive - News
Doritos: The Latest Victim Of Inflation
A green paper butterfly flaps its wings and now I have 5 less chips.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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5
5 Why The Senate's Plan For Getting Rid Of Daylight Savings Time Actually Sucks
We're finally doing something that's long overdue, in the worst way possible!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
- 51
The Worst Possible Take On Ukraine Says Zelenskyy Should Wear A Suit
My decrepit ancestors would never have trusted a man whose biceps they can see!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
- 45
Florida Is Solving A Vulture Infestation With Guns
The guns, you see, fire bullets, and when those hit the birds, they die!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
- 15
Kim Kardashian's Business Advice Inspired Me To Ask My Parents For Money
This is just the motivation I needed to get myself out of a funk and into my parents' foyer, to ask for money.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
- 16
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New York's New Mayor Is A Complete Weirdo
He's talking about energy stones again.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
- 9
Batman Screening Invaded By Real Bat
Wow, the sound system in here is so good it's grabbing my hair!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
- 2
New NBA2K Lootbox Lawsuit Denies Children Right To Gamble
Stop treating children like babies and let them feel the rush!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 4
Meet The World's Worst Hiker
Hello? 911? It's me from yesterday. Yes, nature has won again.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 1
The FBI Tried (And Failed) To Catfish A Pizza Guy Into Mass Murder
No terrorism charges. Still arrested him though.
- Authors
- By Ryan Menezes
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- 14
The Truth Behind 4 Media Propaganda Boogeymen
The news doesn't want you to think very hard.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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- Comments
- 69
5 Ways Segregation Is Still Alive Today
Not everything is racist. But these things sure are.
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- By Michael Dawson
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- 66
Foreign Policy's Weirdest New Weapon: Memes
Will memes prevent or lead to WWIII?
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- By Nathan Williams
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- 0
Where Aren't They Now? 26 Overlooked Deaths From 2021 (Pt. 2)
RIP, Holocaust-fighting heavy metal grandma.
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- By Justin Crockett
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- Comments
- 16
Ecuador's Bonkers YouTuber Mayor Is Going To Prison For 5 Years
The star of the most bizarre 9/11 tribute ever is in hot water.
- Authors
- By Maxwell Yezpitelok
- Published
- Comments
- 1
