14 More Jokes For The Hall Of Fame

14 More Jokes For The Hall Of Fame

I enjoy this list of interesting facts as a way of introducing my comedy, or more specifically my new material. I'm not the kind of person to tell jokes. I can't even remember the last time I told one. This is how I get my kicks these days. The format of the list of strange facts is something I'm sure you're familiar with. A series of oddities that make you raise your eyebrows, smile, or in some cases, cringe, but also make you think about them a little. The stories are all true, although you may have heard some of them before. If you enjoy this list of interesting facts and find them amusing, then you might be interested in the absurdist stand-up show I'm working on. It's called ‘Stupendous Facts To Entertain Our Brains’ and it's a kind of ‘twisted history’ of our times, using only true facts. The show is still in the early stages but, so far, it's gone well. I've done two shows and I think they went down well. There were some funny bits, although it was mainly the oddity of the material that made the audience laugh.

Emo Philips

Emo Philips I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW


Gary Delaney

Gary Delaney I went to the ZOO to watch the monkeys wanking. Then I went to see the crocodiles and I was still wank- ing. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW


Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx I once shot an ele- phant in my pajamas, and how it got in my pajamas l'll never know. A certified classic (I certified it just now). CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW


Steven Wright

Steven Wright I figured I'd go for a walk, she said 'how long are you gonna be gone?' I said, 'The whole time. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW


Eugene Mirman’s Obvious Billboards

Eugene Mirman's Obvious Billboards Don't Throw a Try Not To Wak Baby at Anything, Up On Fire Even a Burglar There's this billboard in my neighborhood that said 'Don't leave a baby anywhere.' Which is true. I imagine the first rule of baby is to not leave it in the street... but it made me want to make my own obvious billboards, so I have. Don't crap in an enve- lope and mail it to yourself. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW


Zarna Garg

Zarna Garg SOUTHAM Y CLUB COM a NE RK CITY On Her Husband: By the way, we've never had a candlelight dinner either. Why would we? We came to America for the electricity. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW


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