Cracked Archive - News

5 Very Possible Nightmare Scenarios From A Trump Presidency

Let's talk about why we're doomed, America!

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5 Ways We Got The Trump Campaign Wrong: An Insider Explains

How did Donald Trump do it, and why didn't any of the conventional political experts see it coming?

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/1)

The news can seem like this is all an elaborate prank being played by a billionaire for his reality show.

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15 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/26)

'Pope reacts as a normal human being to a minor incident with the Mexican crowd. Bigots wet their pants.'

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Why Professor Indiana Jones Was Hated By His Colleagues

We must say that the title 'God Melted Some Nazi Faces In Front Of Me' simply doesn't fit our journal's aesthetic.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/23)

Today's news is like a less plausible version of the wacky fake headlines from 1980s movies set in the future.

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14 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/19)

'Republicans honor Scalia's devotion to the Constitution by ignoring it to delay successor's appointment.'

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5 Reasons To Like (Or At Least Respect) Martin Shkreli

I have a feeling this won't be a popular column. Don't ask me why. Just a feeling, I suppose.

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I'm Asian: 6 Forms Of Racism I Deal With Every Day

Just because it's no longer socially acceptable doesn't mean people don't still harbor some subconscious racist beliefs.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/16)

The news is like 'The Walking Dead,' only without that show's sense of naive optimism.

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17 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/12)

'Martin Shkreli is an even smugger asshole than previously thought'

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5 Weird Ways America Has Returned To The Dark Ages

The Dark Ages earned that name at least in part because there's a noticeable lack of contemporary records, a trait eerily similar to our country today.

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18 News Stories That Forgot To Tell You Everything

Well, maybe Steve Harvey's gaff was some sort of karmic retribution in the end.

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/9)

The news is like an alarm that sounds 24 hours a day, alternately screaming that you're going to die and that you need to ask your doctor about erectile dysfunction pills.

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5 Realities Of Smog So Bad It Blots Out The Sun

Beijing, we're finding out, has the kind of pollution that makes it seem like you're downwind from a freaking volcano eruption.

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