Cracked Archive - News
Eric Adams Solved Homelessness By Throwing Away Their Stuff
If I throw away their tent they will simply fade away, surely!
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- By Eli Yudin
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0 No, Children Aren't Pooping In Litterboxes At School
Today, in "things we truly deeply shouldn't even have to address."
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 0
The Ginni Thomas News Is A Bad Tom Clancy Novel
A mental adventure with absolutely zero intrigue.
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- By Eli Yudin
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Apparently Jazz Was Illegal In New Orleans Schools Until Today
He's got a trombone! Take him down!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 0
Ketanji Brown Jackson's Supreme Court Hearings Are Embarrassing
Nothing new here, except maybe the lows.
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 49
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Trump Asked Kid Rock What To Do About North Korea
Sir, are you worried about the possibility that Kim Jong-Un may up jump the boogie?
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 28
Senator Ted Cruz Threw A Perfect Entitled Airport Temper Tantrum
Teddy wanty ticky! Teddy wanty ticky!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 24
A Michael Jackson Musical Is Going On Tour: Yikes
No, they don't talk about it.
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 11
Amy Schumer Wants Zelenskyy On The Oscars For Some Reason
Wow, he'll be so PUMPED to get that invite!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 16
The Only Thing Worse Than Traffic Is Traffic With Bees
Oh, great. Bees.
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- By Eli Yudin
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Doritos: The Latest Victim Of Inflation
A green paper butterfly flaps its wings and now I have 5 less chips.
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 5
Why The Senate's Plan For Getting Rid Of Daylight Savings Time Actually Sucks
We're finally doing something that's long overdue, in the worst way possible!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 51
The Worst Possible Take On Ukraine Says Zelenskyy Should Wear A Suit
My decrepit ancestors would never have trusted a man whose biceps they can see!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 45
Florida Is Solving A Vulture Infestation With Guns
The guns, you see, fire bullets, and when those hit the birds, they die!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 15
Kim Kardashian's Business Advice Inspired Me To Ask My Parents For Money
This is just the motivation I needed to get myself out of a funk and into my parents' foyer, to ask for money.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 16
