To paraphrase Phineas and Ferb's Evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz --
Just as much as a can of Pepsi isn't the cure for racism, a can of Coke isn't a fix for democracy.
'But your honor, I only posed for a photo with a stolen podium during a deadly attack on the U.S. capitol!'
'No red M&Ms' requests -- they're for insurgents, too!
Make America Great Again ... by mutilating vulnerable marine life?
Damn, that's crazy. Alexa, play 'That's What You Get
Even by true crime standards, this story is dark.
It only took 1449 days ...
Congressional Representatives, they're (now) just like TikTok teens!
We lit another fire ...