Cracked Archive - News

Eric Adams Solved Homelessness By Throwing Away Their Stuff
If I throw away their tent they will simply fade away, surely!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
0
No, Children Aren't Pooping In Litterboxes At School
Today, in "things we truly deeply shouldn't even have to address."
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
0
The Ginni Thomas News Is A Bad Tom Clancy Novel
A mental adventure with absolutely zero intrigue.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
0
Apparently Jazz Was Illegal In New Orleans Schools Until Today
He's got a trombone! Take him down!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
0
Ketanji Brown Jackson's Supreme Court Hearings Are Embarrassing
Nothing new here, except maybe the lows.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
49
Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter
Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!
Trump Asked Kid Rock What To Do About North Korea
Sir, are you worried about the possibility that Kim Jong-Un may up jump the boogie?
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
28
Senator Ted Cruz Threw A Perfect Entitled Airport Temper Tantrum
Teddy wanty ticky! Teddy wanty ticky!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
24
A Michael Jackson Musical Is Going On Tour: Yikes
No, they don't talk about it.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
11
Amy Schumer Wants Zelenskyy On The Oscars For Some Reason
Wow, he'll be so PUMPED to get that invite!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
16
The Only Thing Worse Than Traffic Is Traffic With Bees
Oh, great. Bees.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
1
Doritos: The Latest Victim Of Inflation
A green paper butterfly flaps its wings and now I have 5 less chips.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
5
Why The Senate's Plan For Getting Rid Of Daylight Savings Time Actually Sucks
We're finally doing something that's long overdue, in the worst way possible!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
51
The Worst Possible Take On Ukraine Says Zelenskyy Should Wear A Suit
My decrepit ancestors would never have trusted a man whose biceps they can see!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
45
Florida Is Solving A Vulture Infestation With Guns
The guns, you see, fire bullets, and when those hit the birds, they die!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
15
Kim Kardashian's Business Advice Inspired Me To Ask My Parents For Money
This is just the motivation I needed to get myself out of a funk and into my parents' foyer, to ask for money.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
-
16