Cracked Archive - News
Amazon Goes Full Orwell With List Of Banned Words Among Workers
I'm concerned about the ethics of this. Oops, I mean I'm REDACTED about the REDACTED of this.
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- By Eli Yudin
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0 Elon Musk, Twitter's Lamest User, Is Now Its Biggest Shareholder
Get ready for an absolutely EPIC buyout, le memelords!
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- By Eli Yudin
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Amazon Workers Voted To Unionize, So They're Probably Drone Targets
Bezos is slamming a big red button on his desk marked "eliminate union."
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- By Eli Yudin
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Bruce Willis Has Aphasia: Here's What That Means.
A mental illness plucked directly from your nightmares.
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- By Eli Yudin
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A Kid Got $90000 For Not Saying The Pledge Of Allegiance
If this kid doesn't say the weird America prayer I'll turn this school around!
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- By Eli Yudin
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Eric Adams Solved Homelessness By Throwing Away Their Stuff
If I throw away their tent they will simply fade away, surely!
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- By Eli Yudin
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No, Children Aren't Pooping In Litterboxes At School
Today, in "things we truly deeply shouldn't even have to address."
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- By Eli Yudin
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The Ginni Thomas News Is A Bad Tom Clancy Novel
A mental adventure with absolutely zero intrigue.
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- By Eli Yudin
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Apparently Jazz Was Illegal In New Orleans Schools Until Today
He's got a trombone! Take him down!
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- By Eli Yudin
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Ketanji Brown Jackson's Supreme Court Hearings Are Embarrassing
Nothing new here, except maybe the lows.
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- By Eli Yudin
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Trump Asked Kid Rock What To Do About North Korea
Sir, are you worried about the possibility that Kim Jong-Un may up jump the boogie?
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 28
Senator Ted Cruz Threw A Perfect Entitled Airport Temper Tantrum
Teddy wanty ticky! Teddy wanty ticky!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 24
A Michael Jackson Musical Is Going On Tour: Yikes
No, they don't talk about it.
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 11
Amy Schumer Wants Zelenskyy On The Oscars For Some Reason
Wow, he'll be so PUMPED to get that invite!
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 16
The Only Thing Worse Than Traffic Is Traffic With Bees
Oh, great. Bees.
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- By Eli Yudin
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