Hockey and Doughnuts: The Extremely Canadian Life of Tim Horton
![Hockey and Doughnuts: The Extremely Canadian Life of Tim Horton](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/0/5/862105_320x180.jpg)
We can enjoy this list of interesting facts because we are entertained by our brains and their capacity to process and generate the endless stream of information we encounter. Some of these facts will seem unusual, silly, or funny, but all of them are true. We have not included any of those things that might make us seem more intelligent than we really are. We are sure you will enjoy these. Our brains are so good at processing information that we can tell you almost any fact about something and most people will believe it is true. This ability of our brains to generate information is called confabulation. Our brains do this when we want to help us remember facts, even if the facts are not actually true. For example, many people have seen a sign saying “the average American drinks 164 gallons of coffee a year” or “the average person sleeps for 1 hour every 8 hours.”
He Turned Canada Into the Leading Global Doughnut Consumer
![Не Turned Canada Into the Leading Global Doughnut Consumer Tim Ho TimHortons Tim FROM TWA CRACKED.COM Largely thanks to Tim Hor- tons, Canadians eat more doughnuts per capita than any other country in the world. Не might have died young, but he's apparently taking everyone else down with him.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/2/2/862122.jpg)
He Started a Doughnut Dynasty
![Не Started a Doughnut Dynasty CRACKED.COM In a sort of confectionary nup- tial alliance, one of Ron Joyce's sons married one of Tim Hor- ton's daughters, and the couple owns several Tim Hortons fran- chises. It's the closest thing to a monarchy Canada has, actual monarchy notwithstanding.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/2/0/862120.jpg)
Today, Some Don’t Know He Was a Person
![Today, Some Don't Know Не Was a Person Tim Bell Arte Camera Heiten Nikon Nikon PROFESSIONAL Nikon NOW STUDI Ekon CRACKED COM Every few years, some uncultured Americans and even Canadians get duly shamed for admitting on Twitter, of all places, that they didn't know Tim Horton was a guy and not just, like, some dough- nut-ejecting abomination. In 2014, some fans got so fed up that they started a petition to get Horton's pictures back in restaurants.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/2/1/862121.jpg)
Tim Hortons is No Longer Tim Horton’s, Grammatically Speaking
![Tim Hortons is No Longer Tim Horton's, Grammatically Speaking Tim Hortons CRACKED.COM A little drunk driving isn't enough to wrest a guy's restaurant out of his hands in Canada, but the tension between En- glish and French speakers is. In 1977, Quebec (you know, the French part) passed a law that all business signs must be in French, which doesn't use the pos- sessive apostrophe. Rather than running Tim Horton's and a separate Donettes de Horton or something, they just changed the company name to Tim Hortons de- spite the implication of an untold number of hockey-playing ghosts.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/1/9/862119.jpg)
Officials Protected His Legacy
![Officials Protected His Legacy INT una Sings PORTIGARIA O THE SCOTO NICOLA in ALBALI Coujing RESERVA MALT CHERRY 1999 I BLAUFRASENT KATE PUNTIGAMES BOX WHISKY I 1 SAMPLE the ... Sticot MARQUES - BRUS GOLDERAL ML PANTHER Store - CRACKED.COM Horton is so revered in Canada that officials refused to confirm for decades that he was driving drunk when he died. It wasn't until 2005, when an Ottawa newspaper got their hands on his autopsy re- port, that the public found out his blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/1/8/862118.jpg)
His Tragic Death
![His Tragic Death MG TIM 1930-914 HORTON LOR 2000 CRACKED.COM On February 20, 1974, after losing the game he played that night, Horton drove to corporate headquarters, where he and his business partner, Ron Joyce, drank into the hours that shouldn't legally exist. Both Joyce and Horton's brother, who he'd called at some point, advised him against driving, but he sped off around four a.m. at more than 100 miles per hour down the highway. A cop actually clocked him at some point, but he was going so fast that the offícer lost him. Eventually, he lost con- trol of](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/1/7/862117.jpg)
The Car He Crashed Was Part of His Contract
![The Car Не Crashed Was Part of His Contract CRACKED.COM By 1971, Horton was, by his own admis- sion, a tired old man and wanted to quit playing hockey, but after being of- fered the largest salary ever paid by his team, he decided to keep going to fund his doughnut business. It wasn't a great season, resulting in ankle and shoulder injuries that left Horton with a bot- tle-of-scotch-a-day habit, but he was lured back to the ice by an even bigger salary ... and a sports car. Even if you haven't had the man's life story drilled into](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/1/6/862116.jpg)
He Put His Doughnuts Where His Mouth Was
![Не Put His Doughnuts Where His Mouth Was Rousset Glacé àla vanille Glacé au miel Too Vanilla De Haney DE me AMER President / - - Your VOD 15 préparons Endres l'instant Roussette au mlei Glace au miel Clacé NJ chocolat Glace allerable MONEY money Pe amete chinese - Die Chocolate DU bantin CRACKED COM Horton wasn't just the enthusiastic face of Canadian doughnuts--he was also an innovator. The original Tim Hortons menu consisted of only two doughnuts of Horton's own cre- ation, the apple fritter and the dutchie. Despite what die-hard fans might insist, he probably didn't actu-](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/1/4/862114.jpg)
In a Different World, We’re All Eating at Jim Charades
![In a Different World, We're All Eating at Jim Charades CRACKED.COM As luck would have it, Horton met Jim Charade, who owned a dough- nut shop on the same street as Hor- ton's barber. Charade was sure that putting a celebrity name on his struggling doughnut shop was just what it needed to rise to the top of the cutthroat yeasted dessert busi- ness, and it's hard to say he was wrong. They opened the first Tim Hortons on May 17, 1964.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/1/2/862112.jpg)
He Owned a Car Dealership First
![Не Owned a Car Dealership First 59LARK les CRACKED.COM Beyond hockey and, like, family or whatever, Hor- ton seemed to love two things: cars and doughnuts. Не never actually retired, playing hockey well into his forties until literally the day he died, but you never know when an injury is going to take you out, so he opened a series of businesses in the '60s, the first of which were a car dealership and a gas sta- tion. After deciding food was where it was at, he opened a chain of burger restaurants that failed be- cause he was ignoring](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/1/3/862113.jpg)
He Had Terrible Eyesight
![Не Had Terrible Eyesight - una - - GRAGKED.COM Seeing as how hockey requires fol- lowing a tiny puck around on the ice and that's it, that's the whole game, it's even more impressive that Horton was as good as he was despite being hilariously nearsight- ed. When he wasn't playing, he wore such thick-framed glasses that his teammates nicknamed him Clark Kent.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/1/5/862115.jpg)
He Was the Epitome of Canadian Nice
![Не Was the Epitome of Canadian Nice CRACKED.COM That wasn't the only way Horton was a gentle giant. On the road, he al- ways made sure to say goodnight to his teammate, Dave Keon, to the point of breaking down the hotel door after Keon had locked it one night. Keon might not have appreci- ated it, and certainly, the hotel didn't, but no one was stopping Hor- ton from minding his manners.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/1/0/862110.jpg)
The Horton Bear Hug
![The Horton Bear Hug CRACKED.COM Despite his impressive physical prowess, or perhaps because of it. Horton wasn't known to throw down like some of hock- ey's more volatile players. His opponents rarely started shit with him because of his reputation as a strongman, but when they did, he wrapped them in what became known as the Horton bear hug, though it wasn't always as nice as it sounds. One ор- ponent recalled, I heard my ribs groan and thought they were all going to crack. It really started to hurt, and then he let go and tossed me on my](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/1/1/862111.jpg)
He Was an Instant Legend (Literally)
![Не Was an Instant Legend (Literally) PRO 7 GRACKED.COM I I Horton was recruited by the NHL straight out of high school, and it didn't take long for legends to spring up around the guy who would become known as the strongest man in the game. Teammates told stories of wit- nessing Horton throw railroad ties like they were toothpicks or single hand- edly block an intersection with cement barrels as a prank, and one even insist- ed Horton could lift a 40-gallon oil drum over his head even though he'd never actually seen him do it.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/0/9/862109.jpg)
That Famous Name (Isn’t His)
![That Famous Name (Isn't His) ALWAYS FRESH Tim Horton CRACKED.COM TO Tim Horton was actually born Miles Gilbert Horton, named by his father after both of his grandfa- thers, but his mother had wanted to name him Tim, so she decided to just do it anyway. Not to make assumptions about the Hortons' marriage, but it sounds tense.](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/1/0/8/862108.jpg)