15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

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15 Weirdest Food Trends of the ‘80s

As I enjoy this list of interesting facts, it strikes me that there are two distinct types of people out there. First, there are the people who are reading this because they are bored and looking for something to do. These people are not my audience. I am addressing you, the person who has read this far. You have taken the time to read these words, and that is a compliment to you. Thank you. I am now going to do something that I would never do if I had to write a regular article. I am going to address the people in this list directly. You are not reading this merely for fun, entertainment or some kind of intellectual stimulation. You have taken the time to read this because you want to find some information that is true. If you enjoy this list of interesting facts, then you should be using your time wisely. There are very important things that you could be doing with your life. You could be working to better society or developing a cure for cancer. You could be preparing to build a rocket ship so that you can travel to the nearest planet and become its new god. You could be anything at all.

Fast Food Buffets

Fast Food Buffets SUPERBAR GARDEN SPOT CRACKED.COM In the days of the universal salad bar, every fast food restaurant wanted in on the bar ac- tion, and we don't mean hotel mini fridges stashed in PlayPlaces for weary parents. Piz- za Hut, of course, had a buffet to accompany their obsolete dine-in service, KFC offered trays of pudding and chicken gizzards, Taco Bell challenged diners to all-you-can-eat cheap burritos, Burger King's traditional sal- ad bar went largely ignored, but the Wen- dy's Superbar was the true MVP, offering sal- ad, pasta, and a Mexican Fiesta. Honestly, we should bring this

Eater

Steak-umms

Steak- umms CRACKED.COM Arguably the unholiest food to rise to power in the '80s was the Steak-umm, a thin slice of frozen beef that went national when it was acquired by Heinz in 1980. Sure, you could just grill a steak in the time it took to thaw, but the concept of beef doesn't have a sassy Twitter account, now, does it?

NYTimes

Wine Coolers

Wine Coolers CRACKED.COM In the mid '80s, beverage manufactur- ers discovered an untapped market of people who couldn't handle a dry white wine or hoppy beer that nevertheless wanted to get fucked up, so they went all in on the wine cooler. Early wine coolers were more like bottled mimo- sas, but in true '80s fashion, they got more and more extreme until purveyors realized they didn't even need to con- tain wine, making way for hard lemon- ade and cider to become the stepping stone of choice between baby and big kid drinks for high school shoplifters.

Vice

Taco Bell Burgers

Taco Bell Burgers CRACKED.COM While McDonald's was busy trying to take over the world, Taco Bell used the distraction to weasel in on the burger business with, so help us God, the Bell Beefer. Every- one was trying to be some- thing they weren't.

Mashed

Lean Cuisine

Lean Cuisine GRACKED COM Likewise, Stouffer's launched their line of healthy frozen dinners in 1981, and within two years, Lean Cui- sine was so popular that grocery stores frequently ran out. It's not clear whether this was because a tiny squirt of reconstituted potatoes and a fistful of salt are so unsatisfy- ing that you had to eat five at a time or people actually liked them.

Vox

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