Cracked Archive - News
San Francisco's Human Poop Crisis Has Reached New Levels
A special task force is being assembled to keep the city from drowning in human feces.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
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61
61 Bad News! Crocs Aren't Going Out Of Business
Fans panicked after the company announced its last manufacturing plants are closing, but unfortunately, Crocs will never die.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 13
In Italy, Police Are Cracking Down On, Uh, Sand Theft
Heavy fines are being issued for stealing Sardinia's most prized possession: its beaches.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 16
Net Neutrality Is Dead, But We Can Bring It Back: Here's How
It's not too late to try to help net neutrality.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 109
Chicago Restaurant To Hawaii: Stop Using The Word 'Aloha'
The people of Hawaii have a few other words for this trademark bully.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 29
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Is Guy Fieri An American Hero? (Yes, He Is)
It's time to talk about Guy Fieri.
- Authors
- By Adam Wears
- Published
- Comments
- 23
Flint, Michigan Still Has Polluted Water: Here's How To Help
Does the world sometimes seem like one big lead-filled swamp of injustice? Here's how you can help.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 114
Space Octopuses & Other Weird Conspiracies Making The Rounds
People believe the darndest things.
- Authors
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey, Andres Diplotti
- Published
- Comments
- 118
News Flash: GOP Candidate Outed For Enjoying Bigfoot Erotica
And it's only the second grossest thing he's into.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 39
How The 2020 Census Could Doom American Democracy
We need to start caring about the census, because things are looking bad.
- Authors
- By Adam Wears
- Published
- Comments
- 229
Oh No! America's Worst Candy Has Been Discontinued
The sudden loss of Necco Wafers and Sweethearts is already being felt by fans -- all none of them.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 49
Puerto Rico's Been Totally Destroyed: Here's How To Help
Here's how you can help Puerto Rico (no paper towels necessary.)
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 117
Salmonella Cereal, Super STDs, & Other Breaking Health News
All the amazing health news you need right now.
- Authors
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey, Andres Diplotti
- Published
- Comments
- 79
How To Help Kids And Parents Separated At The U.S. Border
The world is on fire. But maybe we can fix it?
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 220
Clooney's Crash, Melania's Coat, & More Bombshell Celeb News
We’re here to make sure you don’t miss any important celebrity stuff.
- Authors
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey, Andres Diplotti
- Published
- Comments
- 108
