Cracked Archive - News
Edible Glitter Coffee Is Happening. Don't Get Mad.
You know what? After the 'Rick and Morty' Szechuan sauce debacle, I don't want to hear a single complaint about glitter coffee.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 06, 2017
No, Trump Did Not Overfeed Koi Fish During His Trip To Japan
No, trump didn't overfeed a bunch of Koi fish on his trip to Japan. But there were still a few prize turd comments coming out of that trip.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 06, 2017
What's Good OR BAD For You Now? (11-09-17)
Every week it's reported that something is good ... or REALLY bad for you.
- By Tim Hawkman, Chris Pauls
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- November 04, 2017
The Unicode Consortium Is Deciding The Fate Of The Poo Emoji
I knew they existed. I told my friends, my family, everyone. They told me I was being 'paranoid.'
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 03, 2017
Rick Perry's Fossil Fuel Comments Are Dumber In Context
We can't assume that the mere presence of light would stop sexual assault.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 03, 2017
How The 'Last Of Us 2' Trailer Ruined A Sure Thing
Stop ... Hammer Time.
- By Tim Hawkman, Mark Hill
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- November 03, 2017
The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/7/17)
The news just doesn’t get any better than this. Which is kind of depressing when you think about it.
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- November 02, 2017
There's A KFC Scented Bath Bomb Because The Devil Is Real
Winner winner chicken ... ugh ...
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 02, 2017
Russian Trolls Used Satan Arm Wrestling Jesus As Propaganda
If you asked me to trade in the sanctity of our democracy to see Jesus arm-wrestle Satan, I would.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 02, 2017
Is 'The Lion King' Live-Action If There Are No People In It?
More like 'Lying King' ...
- By Tim Hawkman, Lydia Bugg
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- November 02, 2017
The Reason Harvey Weinstein Is Just The Beginning
Why did this suddenly become the month we exposed an industry so fraught with scandal that Variety now reads like a newspaper crime section?
- By David Christopher Bell
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- November 01, 2017
What Stupid Thing Is Trending Now? (11/04/2017)
A child getting small amounts of candy handouts from all of her neighbors is like the definition of socialism.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- November 01, 2017
Osama Bin Laden Had Anime And Disney On His Computer
Truly, a terrifying look into the mind of a cold blooded killer.
- By Katie Goldin, Andres Diplotti
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- November 01, 2017
NFL Protests Aren't Responsible For Papa John's Bad Sales
If your business can be crippled by black people protesting injustice, you probably aren't running a great business.
- By Tim Hawkman
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- November 01, 2017
Judge Rules That Asking For A 'Lawyer Dog' Is Too Confusing
I can't imagine how these officers and judges function in real life, with all the 'ambiguous' slang out there.
- By Randall Maynard, Katie Goldin
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- October 31, 2017
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