On today's installment of Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow's comically pretentious lifestyle brand, being Goop, the company has yet again proved that private parts and flammable objects are a match made in hell, facing a lawsuit from a Texas man who claimed that the company's infamous “This Smells Like My Vagina Candle” “exploded" while burning on his bedside table. 

According to court documents, Colby Watson says he burned the candle for roughly three hours before the, erm, allegedly Gwyneth Paltrow scented item set ablaze, the table reportedly “engulfed in high flames." Although fortunately, no injuries were reported, the candle's jar was “charred and black," leaving behind a “black burn ring” on that poor, innocent table, The Guardian reported. As such, Watson's representatives are looking for justice and compensation for not only their client but for several Goop fans who “through no fault of their own, bought defective and dangerous vagina-scented candles."

While Watson says he was aware of the product's “limited warning,” instructing consumers to refrain from letting the candle, which smells of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed,” per the product listing, for more than two hours, he claims the company “knew the candles were defective.”

Goop, of course, denies these allegations, dismissing the lawsuit as “frivolous.” “We’re confident this claim is frivolous and an attempt to secure an outsized payout from a press-heavy product," a company representative told NBC News on Tuesday. “We stand behind the brands we carry and the safety of the products we sell," they continued, adding that “Here, Heretic — the brand that supplies the candle — has substantiated the product’s performance and safety through industry standard testing."

Despite this reassurance, Watson's tale of a vaginal-scented explosion isn't a lone incident. Last month, a woman named Jody Thompson says she won one of the infamous candles, and that “all hell was unleashed” the second time she lit it. 

“A few minutes after I lit the candle, it exploded. Flames roared half a metre out of the jar and bits of molten wax flew out as it fizzed and spat," Thompson recalled in an essay for The Guardian. “We couldn’t get near it to blow it out as the flames were so ferocious, and we didn’t want to throw water on it for fear of splashing molten wax everywhere. Luckily, I had placed it on concrete, at the base of what was once a fireplace.”

While after roughly five minutes, the author says she was able to blow out the blaze, the candle was destroyed, “the charred jar and melted label were testament to how hot it had become."

Shortly after the fiery disaster, Thompson says a company representative reached out to her, offering her free items, a story the company corroborated in a statement to People. “We’re in touch with the woman to see if she followed the specific fire safety instructions included with the candle, such as trimming the wick and not burning it for more than two hours.”

So folks, take it from Thompson and Watson – combining vaginas and flames never ends well, even with the Gwyneth Paltrow stamp of approval.

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ on TikTok @HuntressThompson_, and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.

 

 

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