Man Drunk Texts Aquarium Series Of Existential Questions

Folks, we've all been there – after a wild night out (or a not-so-wild night in featuring a bottle of wine, our roommates, and the Sam Raimi Spider-Man trilogy) we've taken one too many shots or one too many sips of cabernet, and sent a few, erm, regrettable texts we'd come to rue while nursing our hangover the next morning. However, it seems one man may have found a better outlet for this drunken talkativeness than crushes, exes, or thoroughly annoyed best friends – channeling his intoxicated energy into messaging a local aquarium a series of existential inquiries.

On Monday afternoon, the South Carolina Aquarium posted a series of burning questions sent to their “Ask an Aquarium Educator” text line by a man who seemingly had a little bit too much fun last week, interrogating the line operators on what, exactly life was like 10,000 years ago, according to Charleston's ABC News affiliate. “On what subjects do marine biologists agree?” he asked in one of the messages. “Also, why do sea horses grab anything they can with their prehensile tail?" he mused in a follow-up, before concluding the rant with the ever-important inquiry of why he should “only eat oysters that contain the letter R."

As evident through the screenshots of the exchange posted to social media, the aquarium experts manning the line appeared to provide thoughtful answers to these many questions, leaving both the man – and evidently his wife – pleased with the responses they received. “Thank you so much for all of your answers!” he replied later. “My wife should be happy I drunk text aquariums and not other women.”

“Of course!" the aquarium line responded. “Thank you for all of your fun questions! Your wife is a turtle-y lucky lady!" Nice. 

So folks, next time you've had a few too many, shoot a text over to the experts at your local aquarium. It's worth it. 

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ on TikTok as @HuntressThompson_, and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.