Cracked Archive - News
You Know Things Are Bad When The Government Wants To Talk UFOs
Why would you want to talk recessions and healthcare when ALIENS MIGHT BE REAL!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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26
26 Unfortunately, The WSJ Is Wrong: The NFT Market Is Not Collapsing
The apes will continue until morale improves.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 24
Burger King Russia Tried To Ban 'It,' Calling Pennywise A McDonald's Mascot
We all bloat down here. You'll bloat too!
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- By Ryan Menezes
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- 2
Hero Of The Week: Woman Recovers Stolen Ancient Statue… From A Goodwill
Old Frasier t-shirt, weird rusty colander, uh, centuries old roman bust?
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 4
TurboTax Caught Scamming, Pays $141M Settlement: We Love To See It
Inject this feeling of justice directly into my veins.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 8
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Banning Abortion Will Finally Allow The Antichrist To Rise To Power
All will be as the Good Word predicted, and as it should!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 71
Bots Are Ruining Your Google Results (Best Coffeemaker For 2022!)
Looking for the best coffeemaker of 2022? Look no further!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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A City In Kansas Just Made Roommates Illegal
And not for leaving oatmeal out for a week.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 4
Oh Great, Some Guy Has Bird Flu Now
I do not remember asking, "Hey, could anything else kill me soon?"
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 9
Village Idiot Of The Week: Woman Falls Into Outhouse Trying To Retrieve Phone
Even worse, this implies that she's still using that phone.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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One Fifth Of All Reptiles Are In Danger Of Extinction, Oops
I'm sorry Mr. Sea Turtle! I just like the way bottled water tastes!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 0
14 Percent Of College Students Are Learning Economics Through Homelessness
Wait, you didn't spend the best years of your life living in your car?
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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South Carolina Brings Back Firing Squads, Remembers They're Horrific
Oh, wait, we actually have to... shoot this guy in front of witnesses?
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 31
5 Actual Critical Race Theory Math Problems For Florida To Ban
Here you go! Ban your nasty little hearts out!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- 42
Drunk Airplane Idiot Gets Punched By Mike Tyson
You could not be messing with the wronger guy.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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