Cracked Archive - News
New Monolith Spotted in California, Quickly Destroyed By ET-Dissing Right-Wing Vandals
This is why we can't have nice things.
- By Carly Tennes
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- December 03, 2020
To Save Lives, Let's Move Christmas To July
#MoveXmasToJuly isn't just about a safer holiday; it's about a better holiday.
- By Jason Pargin
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- December 03, 2020
The Obamas To Produce Comedy Series Roasting Trump's Sheer Incompetence
*grabs popcorn*
- By Carly Tennes
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- December 03, 2020
Harry Styles Roasts Pundits For Their Pointless Tantrums On Men In Dresses
Revenge is as sweet as a 'Watermelon Sugar High' for the former One Direction singer.
- By Carly Tennes
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- December 02, 2020
Weed Isn't That Bad, United Nations Rules
From hitting shoes to hitting bongs?
- By Carly Tennes
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- December 02, 2020
Another Mysterious Monolith Randomly Appears, Vanishes in Romania
At this point, it's got to be aliens.
- By Carly Tennes
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- December 01, 2020
'Umbrella Academy' Star Elliot Page Comes Out As Transgender
Longtime LGBTQAI+ icon, Elliot Page, came out as transgender and non-binary.
- By Carly Tennes
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- December 01, 2020
So Where Are We On Legal Weed?
We have tipped the bong on America's outlook for legal marijuana.
- By Max Mitchem
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- December 01, 2020
Update: That Mysterious Utah Monolith Has Now Mysteriously Disappeared
This is definitely on brand for 2020.
- By Carly Tennes
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- November 30, 2020
6 Helping Hands From Groups You May Not Expect
Sometimes the people helping you out are the ones you didn't even think of asking.
- By Chris Corlew
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- November 26, 2020
You Can Now Email A Literal Dumpster Fire Emblazoned with '2020'
A new way to air your grievances ... just in time for Festivus!
- By Carly Tennes
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- November 25, 2020
Breaking: 'Clifford the Big Red Dog' is a Big Red Dog, Terrifies The Internet
Come on, did we not learn anything from the whole 'Sonic the Hedgehog' fiasco?
- By Carly Tennes
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- November 25, 2020
Grow-Your-Own Human Meat Meal Kit 'Technically' Not Cannibalism, Makers Say
Yum?
- By Carly Tennes
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- November 24, 2020
Mysterious Monolith Spotted In Southern Utah Wilderness
And yes, they touched it. Repeatedly.
- By Carly Tennes
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- November 23, 2020
Twitter, Facebook Will Transfer Donald Trump's POTUS Accounts to Joe Biden
The end is finally near!
- By Carly Tennes
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- November 23, 2020
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