Cracked Archive - News

To Save Lives, Let's Move Christmas To July

#MoveXmasToJuly isn't just about a safer holiday; it's about a better holiday.


Harry Styles Roasts Pundits For Their Pointless Tantrums On Men In Dresses

Revenge is as sweet as a 'Watermelon Sugar High' for the former One Direction singer.


Weed Isn't That Bad, United Nations Rules

From hitting shoes to hitting bongs?


Another Mysterious Monolith Randomly Appears, Vanishes in Romania

At this point, it's got to be aliens.


'Umbrella Academy' Star Elliot Page Comes Out As Transgender

Longtime LGBTQAI+ icon, Elliot Page, came out as transgender and non-binary.


So Where Are We On Legal Weed?

We have tipped the bong on America's outlook for legal marijuana.


Update: That Mysterious Utah Monolith Has Now Mysteriously Disappeared

This is definitely on brand for 2020.


6 Helping Hands From Groups You May Not Expect

Sometimes the people helping you out are the ones you didn't even think of asking.


You Can Now Email A Literal Dumpster Fire Emblazoned with '2020'

A new way to air your grievances ... just in time for Festivus!


Breaking: 'Clifford the Big Red Dog' is a Big Red Dog, Terrifies The Internet

Come on, did we not learn anything from the whole 'Sonic the Hedgehog' fiasco?


Mysterious Monolith Spotted In Southern Utah Wilderness

And yes, they touched it. Repeatedly.