Cracked Archive - News

To Save Lives, Let's Move Christmas To July

#MoveXmasToJuly isn't just about a safer holiday; it's about a better holiday.

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Harry Styles Roasts Pundits For Their Pointless Tantrums On Men In Dresses

Revenge is as sweet as a 'Watermelon Sugar High' for the former One Direction singer.

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Weed Isn't That Bad, United Nations Rules

From hitting shoes to hitting bongs?

25

Another Mysterious Monolith Randomly Appears, Vanishes in Romania

At this point, it's got to be aliens.

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'Umbrella Academy' Star Elliot Page Comes Out As Transgender

Longtime LGBTQAI+ icon, Elliot Page, came out as transgender and non-binary.

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So Where Are We On Legal Weed?

We have tipped the bong on America's outlook for legal marijuana.

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Update: That Mysterious Utah Monolith Has Now Mysteriously Disappeared

This is definitely on brand for 2020.

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6 Helping Hands From Groups You May Not Expect

Sometimes the people helping you out are the ones you didn't even think of asking.

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You Can Now Email A Literal Dumpster Fire Emblazoned with '2020'

A new way to air your grievances ... just in time for Festivus!

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Breaking: 'Clifford the Big Red Dog' is a Big Red Dog, Terrifies The Internet

Come on, did we not learn anything from the whole 'Sonic the Hedgehog' fiasco?

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Mysterious Monolith Spotted In Southern Utah Wilderness

And yes, they touched it. Repeatedly.

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