Cracked Archive - News

6 Monopolies Normal People Have No Clue Exist
These industries, they are dummy concentrated.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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130
Landlords, Can You Not Be Trash Right Now?
Landlords are treating this like an opportunity to live in a porno trope.
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- By Dan Duddy
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49
Nobody Knows How Wildfire Season Is Gonna Go
How many crises can we deal with at once? We're gonna find out.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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13
Twitter Finally Corrects Trump And He Goes Full Dictator Mode
Twitter finally called Trump out. Now he wants to shut them down.
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- By Dan Duddy
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118
JK Rowling Still Sucks At Metaphors
Look us in the eye and tell us who the Marshlanders are, Joanne.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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28
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To Celebrate Nearly 100k Dead, Trump Donates 100k
They're 100% going to accidentally going to release his tax returns in an campaign fundraising email blast.
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- By Luis Prada
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66
How Is KFC So Late To The Chicken Sandwich Wars?
America's never going to say no to a fried chicken sandwich, but...
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- By Isaac Cabe
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21
Garfield-Themed Restaurant Exists, Is Having A Hard Time
The future of the Garfield-shaped food industry is in peril.
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- By Maxwell Yezpitelok
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14
Ways Prison Life Is Even Worse Than On TV
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- By Adam Wears
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114
A Michigan Dam Burst, Can We Finally Tackle Infrastructure Now?
How many once-in-a-century problems does it take before we do something?
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- By Isaac Cabe
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44
To Encourage Folks to Bone, Trojan Released a ... Cookbook?
It’s like a horror movie in which you’ve been kidnapped and forced to do nothing but bake and bang.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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12
Hey, Starbucks, We Branded Your New Drink For You
Starbuck's rampant promotion of new drinks around any type event is so exploitative and transparent that it has become amusing.
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- By Dan Duddy
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19
That New Hillary Clinton Alternate Reality Novel Sucks
It's like if the DNC wrote 'The Butterfly Effect.'
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- By Mark Hill
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28
The List Of Big Companies Getting Clobbered During This Keeps Growing
Just because a business is non-essential doesn't mean it didn't matter.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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38
Trump Taking Poison Is Like Shakespeare Gone Bad
This is the type of story our grandkids won't believe the same way we don't believe Paul Bunyan was real.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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81