Cracked Archive - News

In Italy, Police Are Cracking Down On, Uh, Sand Theft
In Italy, Police Are Cracking Down On, Uh, Sand Theft

Heavy fines are being issued for stealing Sardinia's most prized possession: its beaches.

16
Net Neutrality Is Dead, But We Can Bring It Back: Here's How
Net Neutrality Is Dead, But We Can Bring It Back: Here's How

It's not too late to try to help net neutrality.

109
Chicago Restaurant To Hawaii: Stop Using The Word 'Aloha'
Chicago Restaurant To Hawaii: Stop Using The Word 'Aloha'

The people of Hawaii have a few other words for this trademark bully.

31
Is Guy Fieri An American Hero? (Yes, He Is)
Is Guy Fieri An American Hero? (Yes, He Is)

It's time to talk about Guy Fieri.

23
Flint, Michigan Still Has Polluted Water: Here's How To Help
Flint, Michigan Still Has Polluted Water: Here's How To Help

Does the world sometimes seem like one big lead-filled swamp of injustice? Here's how you can help.

115
News Flash: GOP Candidate Outed For Enjoying Bigfoot Erotica
News Flash: GOP Candidate Outed For Enjoying Bigfoot Erotica

And it's only the second grossest thing he's into.

40
How The 2020 Census Could Doom American Democracy
How The 2020 Census Could Doom American Democracy

We need to start caring about the census, because things are looking bad.

232
Oh No! America's Worst Candy Has Been Discontinued
Oh No! America's Worst Candy Has Been Discontinued

The sudden loss of Necco Wafers and Sweethearts is already being felt by fans -- all none of them.

49
Puerto Rico's Been Totally Destroyed: Here's How To Help
Puerto Rico's Been Totally Destroyed: Here's How To Help

Here's how you can help Puerto Rico (no paper towels necessary.)

117
Why It Was Always Dumb To Worship Elon Musk As A Savior
Why It Was Always Dumb To Worship Elon Musk As A Savior

The good billionaire will NOT save us all.

0
How To Help Kids And Parents Separated At The U.S. Border
How To Help Kids And Parents Separated At The U.S. Border

The world is on fire. But maybe we can fix it?

227
Clooney's Crash, Melania's Coat, & More Bombshell Celeb News
Clooney's Crash, Melania's Coat, & More Bombshell Celeb News

We’re here to make sure you don’t miss any important celebrity stuff.

109
Delete Your Account, Elon Musk
Delete Your Account, Elon Musk

Elon Musk needs to take a break from, just, like, everything.

58