Cracked Archive - News

Government Cancels Plan To Vaccinate Santa Early
It looks like some government officials may be getting coal in their stockings this year ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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15
Cordelia From 'Buffy' Fought (And Caught) A Real-Life Serial Rapist Cop
In 1991, Charisma Carpenter thought someone was breaking into her home ...
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- By Ryan Menezes
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39
Murder Hornets Are Back, And More Murder Hornet-y Than Ever
Mover over M. Night Shyamalan, the writers of 2020 are back with yet another twist.
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- By Carly Tennes
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12
Who Exactly Is The Internet's Dancing Pumpkin Man?
He has to be doing *something* when he's not dancing to 'Ghostbusters' or that one trap version of 'Spooky Scary Skeletons'
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- By Carly Tennes
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9
Couple Who Met at Dunkin' Donuts Just Got Married -- At The Dunkin' Donuts Drive Through
Here comes the bride -- and the donuts.
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- By Carly Tennes
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8
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Massive 2,000-Year-Old Cat Drawing Discovered In Peru
Ancient drawings of giant cats -- the one thing we actually need more of this year.
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- By Carly Tennes
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11
2020-Themed Christmas Ornaments Are Now A Thing, I Guess
Move over, sexy hand sanitizer Halloween costumes, Christmas this year comes complete with glittery toilet paper ornaments.
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- By Carly Tennes
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15
Teen Girl Dates Godzilla -- Like Actually
And we thought we were into bad boys ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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8
How Did The 'Dilbert' Guy's Brain Melt?
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- By Mark Hill
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110
Japanese Amusement Park Opens To Give Remote Workers A "Workcation"
Need a break from the WFH life? Try WFFW (work from ferris wheel).
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- By Carly Tennes
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5
5 Real Horror Stories Ordinary People Got Trapped In
Warning: The stuff you're about to read is really scary.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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38
The Term "Bone" Was Banned At Recent Paleontology Conference
And attendees had a b*** to pick.
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- By Carly Tennes
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62
So, The LAX Jetpack Guy Is Back
He's back, and jet-packier than ever?
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- By Carly Tennes
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20
Giant Bomb Trends On Twitter, Scaring Unsuspecting Users, Amusing Fans
This is 2020, after all.
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- By Carly Tennes
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13
A TikToker Put an Egg In A Keurig Machine, Bringing 2020 To A New Low
Why? Just why?
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- By Carly Tennes
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14