"What are you thinking of doing? Do you ... ?"

—My answer was as short and clear-cut as possible. "Yeah."

The old woman who had just stepped into my office looked puzzled at me. But it didn't really matter whether or not she understood what I meant by "yeah." Her eyes, which had been fixed on the documents on the desk in front of her, went blank when she heard me say that. They went back and forth, left to right.

She stood still for a little bit before taking a step backward out of my office. Then she opened up the door wide, as if to indicate that she wanted to leave immediately, so that's exactly what she did.

I later realized what had happened. It wasn't my reply that she'd reacted to. No. Not at all. She was just really weirded out by the list of extremely bizarre recent news I had lying on my desk. It was this one: 

A lost kangaroo is reunited with its owner, in Michigan.

WEIRD WORLD A Michigan woman found a loose kangaroo in her driveway. The lost animal was seen hopping up and down Sara Greer's driveway, eating something. The kangaroo was the pet of a man named Douglas who had a license to keep exotic pets. As long as you have a license or permit, I guess you can CRACKED.COM have a kangaroo, Sara said.

Fox Detroit 

Don’t hold in your toots.

WEIRD WORLD A singer was hospitalized after holding in her farts for too long. Viviane de Queiroz Pereira shared her harrowing tale to her 15.7 million Instagram followers after severe stomach pains sent her to seek medical attention. Pereira says she held in her gas because she was not on farting terms in her CRACKED.COM new relationship.

DC 101 

A banker will have a killer DJ set during Lollapalooza.

WEIRD WORLD Lollapalooza announces a DJ set by Goldman Sachs boss. 60-year-old David Solomon, who is a dance music DJ outside his day job, was one of the acts organizers announced with the likes of Metallica and Doja Cat. Goldman Sachs declined to comment on the gig. CRACKED.COM

BBC 

A house got the full “Wizard of Oz” treatment.

WEIRD WORLD A tornado lifted an entire house and planted it in the middle of the street, with its occupants inside. Dea Castellanos and her daughter, who has muscular dystrophy, felt the house spin a full rotation in the tornado as it was thrown 30 feet off its foundation. Firefighters arrived on scene and the girl was taken to the hospital, where CRACKED.COM she is doing fine.

NPR 

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UK Prime Minister uses WhatsApp for sensitive information.

WEIRD WORLD Boris Johnson uses WhatsApp to receive sensitive government material. Foxglove, a UK non-profit, says the government is potentially in breach of its own data security guidelines and the Public Records Act of 1958, which requires legal checks to be made on messages in case they need to be kept for the CRACKED.COM public interest.

BBC 

One misspelling sent the police looking for a shooter.

WEIRD WORLD An autocorrect mishap triggers a police shutdown in Pittsburgh. Workers and guests of Nova Place were evacuated as police and EMS filled an entire block. What sparked the event was someone texting firearm instead of fire alarm, which prompted the recipient to go to the police. CRACKED.COM

WPXI 

Sri Lankan school children have exams postponed due to lack of paper.

WEIRD WORLD Sri Lanka ran out of paper, so they canceled school exams for millions of students. Sri Lanka is witnessing its worst-ever economic crisis since its independence in 1948, and has canceled exams indefinitely due to the acute shortage of papers. The cash-strapped nation is also witnessing a shortage of food, fuel and medicine. CRACKED.COM

Hindustan Times 

Gay couple adopts gay dog, Conservatives everywhere seethe.

WEIRD WORLD A Charlotte couple adopted a dog that was abandoned for being gay. It's just such a silly reason to turn in a dog, says Steve Nichols, who adopted the fabulous pup with his partner. We just thought it would make sense for the gay dog to be adopted by a loving gay family. CRACKED.COM

WCCB Charlotte 

A revamped Miami park will have great lighting when no one is allowed in.

WEIRD WORLD Miami spent $350,000 on new lights for a park that closes at sundown. The most notable new feature of the revamped park is the 53 new solar-powered light poles that fully illuminate the park after dark. There's just one problem: The park still closes at sunset. The public cannot benefit from the new lights. CRACKED.COM

WLRN 

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