15 Bonkers News Stories That Make Us Wonder If We’re The Weird Ones
"What are you thinking of doing? Do you ... ?"
—My answer was as short and clear-cut as possible. "Yeah."
The old woman who had just stepped into my office looked puzzled at me. But it didn't really matter whether or not she understood what I meant by "yeah." Her eyes, which had been fixed on the documents on the desk in front of her, went blank when she heard me say that. They went back and forth, left to right.
She stood still for a little bit before taking a step backward out of my office. Then she opened up the door wide, as if to indicate that she wanted to leave immediately, so that's exactly what she did.
I later realized what had happened. It wasn't my reply that she'd reacted to. No. Not at all. She was just really weirded out by the list of extremely bizarre recent news I had lying on my desk. It was this one:
Michigan Kangaroo
Don’t hold in your toots.
A banker will have a killer DJ set during Lollapalooza.
A house got the full “Wizard of Oz” treatment.
Tourists are being armed against hungry ocean birds.
Boris Johnson
One misspelling sent the police looking for a shooter.
Remember to check your Spam folder.
Long live the new flesh.
Are potatoes even worth it?
It isn’t right, but many shoes were left.
Thief caught on camera burglarizing Miami shoe store, leaves with 20 left sneakers
Was she wrong, though?
Sri Lankan school children have exams postponed due to lack of paper.
Gay couple adopts gay dog, Conservatives everywhere seethe.
Miami
