The story of my life starts when I was a boy, and my mother was a great witch. She could make anyone do anything just by speaking a spell, and I think she made her own father turn against her before he died. I'm not sure. I can't remember any of that. The important thing is what happened to my family, which I learned from some other kids in town. One day my mother disappeared from our house with no warning at all, just a note saying she had to go.
My father wasn't there either. He went missing right away—my friends swear they saw him on top of the old bridge by our house just like my brother said he saw. They say he climbed over it and never came back, but the police didn't find anything except his clothes. It was as if he'd been taken into the river with a fish hook. The only thing we have left is a list of facts found in his pocket. It says:
Lots of kids in the US had goiters until the ‘20s.

Iceland’s trees were cut down by the Vikings for livestock.

A jury contacted the dead to reach a verdict.

Carlin read his “Thomas The Tank Engine” narration to a stuffed animal.

Eels and groupers hunt together.

Having a stroke is a great way to quit smoking.

Canines sometimes have to have their happy tails digitally removed from film.

Dingoes were brought to Australia 4,000 years ago.

Hendrix and Young rolled up to Woodstock in a stolen truck.

Van Gogh didn’t get his painting career going until the very end.

Gary Busey knows what’s waiting for him on the other side.

South Korea is cloning a breed of super service dogs.

Women can get things off their chest in NY.

A dumb YouTube experiment killed a guy.

The Silent Man is the UK’s most enigmatic criminal.
