Cracked Archive - News

The Far-Right Siege of Congress -- As Told To The Tune of 'We Didn't Start The Fire'
We lit another fire ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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52
Breaking: President Donald Trump's Actions Actually Have Dangerous Consequences
We can do better, America.
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- By Carly Tennes
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173
Jon Ossoff Leads Georgia Runoff Race, Could Be America's First Anime Fan Senator
Moral of the story? Scour your Twitter before running for senate, folks!
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- By Carly Tennes
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15
4 Underreported Stories Nobody Is Talking About
2020 garbage news we somehow overlooked ...
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- By Willie Muse
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110
Man Offended By A Piece of Cotton, The Internet Has a Field Day
*clutches pearls*
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- By Carly Tennes
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33
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Some Monster Decided To Air Fry A Hot Dog For Two Hours
An experiment for the ages ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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18
'Home Depot' Ceiling Fans Recalled As Blades Keep Flying Off, Smacking People
Nope. Just Nope.
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- By Carly Tennes
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9
Michael Flynn Now Peddles Dumb Conspiracy Merch on Twitter
Because nothing says 'patriotism' like a profiting off of disenfranchised Americans!
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- By Carly Tennes
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31
5 Good News Stories That 2021 May Bring
2021 may shape up to be a happier one.
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- By Max Mitchem
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18
10 Strange, Commemorative Monolith Items That Now Apparently Exist
Have $7,495 burning a hole in your pocket? Try commissioning a custom 10-foot monolith, for, you know, strictly commemorative purposes ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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6
Boston Dynamics' Robots Can Probably Destroy Us All -- In A Dance Battle
The A.I. apocalypse will now be a dance battle.
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- By Carly Tennes
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8
5 Garbage Trends That We Need To Leave Behind In 2021
2021 needs to try harder ...
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- By Zanandi Botes
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79
Why Are British Celebs Such Complete Jerks To Trans People?
Why do rich famous liberal Brits waste their time and reputations attacking trans people for idiotic reasons?
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- By Mark Hill
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132
Home Depot's Twelve-Foot Skeletons Are Now Used As Christmas Decor
Our bony buddy is back! And more festive than ever.
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- By Carly Tennes
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6
TikToker Dunks On Old Gasbag Morrissey With Teeny Bopper Dance to 'There is A Light That Never Goes Out'
TikTokers are coming at Morrissey -- one viral dance at a time.
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- By Carly Tennes
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30