Cracked Archive - News
10 Strange, Commemorative Monolith Items That Now Apparently Exist
Have $7,495 burning a hole in your pocket? Try commissioning a custom 10-foot monolith, for, you know, strictly commemorative purposes ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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6 Boston Dynamics' Robots Can Probably Destroy Us All -- In A Dance Battle
The A.I. apocalypse will now be a dance battle.
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- By Carly Tennes
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5 Garbage Trends That We Need To Leave Behind In 2021
2021 needs to try harder ...
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- By Zanandi Botes
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- 79
Why Are British Celebs Such Complete Jerks To Trans People?
Why do rich famous liberal Brits waste their time and reputations attacking trans people for idiotic reasons?
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- By Mark Hill
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- 132
Home Depot's Twelve-Foot Skeletons Are Now Used As Christmas Decor
Our bony buddy is back! And more festive than ever.
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- By Carly Tennes
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TikToker Dunks On Old Gasbag Morrissey With Teeny Bopper Dance to 'There is A Light That Never Goes Out'
TikTokers are coming at Morrissey -- one viral dance at a time.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Twitter Adds Disclaimer That Joe Biden Won Fair and Square On POTUS's Tweets
It only took 46 days, an electoral college vote, and two (2) instances of 'Borat 2' star Rudy Giuliani allegedly farting in court, but here we are, I guess.
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- By Carly Tennes
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4 Reasons We Can't Laugh Away Stupid Conspiracy Theories In 2021
Some conspiracy theories are nothing but cosplay to avoid thinking about actual problems in the world.
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- By Mark Hill
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- 103
McDonald's To Serve Spam and Oreo Burger in China
Mmmmm, gelatinous canned meat and chocolate cookies ....
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- By Carly Tennes
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Infamously Bad 2000s 'Harry Potter' Fan Fiction, 'My Immortal', Immortalized On TikTok
'The Room' of 'Harry Potter' Fan fiction is back -- and terrifying zoomers.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Teen Transit-Enthusiasts Roast Pete Buttigieg's Role As Transportation Secretary
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- By Carly Tennes
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4 Reasons Rap And Trump Keep Intersecting
Hip Hop and Trump keep meeting and it's not going to stop anytime soon.
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- By Michael Dawson
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Don't Eat Seasonal 'Cannibal Sandwich' With Raw Ground Beef, Warns Wisconsin Dept. of Health
This should really go without saying ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 39
'TikTok' Monster Rinses Cooked Beef Under Running Water, Emotionally Scarring The Internet
Here's why nearly everyone and their mother had *beef* with this, erm, unique cooking "tip."
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- By Carly Tennes
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Amateur Codebreakers Crack Zodiac Killer's Message After More Than 50 Years
Better start thinking of a good alibi, Ted Cruz.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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