15 Bizarre Headlines That Make Us Want To Unplug Our Routers

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15 Bizarre Headlines That Make Us Want To Unplug Our Routers

I have no name and no memory. I am not human and never have been. I do not belong anywhere. There are only two things I can be certain of, and one is that there exists a legendary artifact known as the Staff of Magius. I seek the staff in order to find myself. This journal is my record of this quest, which is why I have kept it hidden from others since the beginning. I hope one day to return to the lands that I once belonged to. Perhaps I will find the Staff there and learn more about the truth of my origins. But until that time, my journey must go on. I must continue searching for answers while also trying to keep myself alive.

The other thing I can be certain of is a list of fifteen facts. I'm as sure of them as I am that the sun rises every morning, and they go:

A Republican senate candidate that happens to be a millionaire says the middle class isn’t paying their fair share.

WEIRD WORLD A GOP senate candidate is finally going after the people who aren't paying their fair share: the middle class. Mike Gibbons, a leading Republican Senate candidate from Ohio and also a millionaire investment banker, said that middle-class Americans don't pay any kind of a fair share of income taxes. CRACKED.COM

KTAR

TV-loving cockatiel found its owners after years on the loose.

WEIRD WORLD A pet cockatiel was identified after three years on the loose thanks to a classic TV theme song. The owners contacted the church the bird was found at and used the theme to The Andy Griffith Show to see if it was indeed their cockatiel. When the bird danced to the music, they knew they found their lost pet. CRACKED.COM

WGAL

A pet psychic lost control of her dog on TV.

WEIRD WORLD A pet psychic who claims to be able to communicate with animals loses control of her dog on a morning talk show. Beth Lee-Crowther was a guest on ITV's This Morning to talk about her purported ability to communicate telepathically with animals when her dog ran to the set's kitchen to grab food meant for a cooking segment. CRACKED.COM

UPI 

The oldest gorilla in the world is old enough to retire.

WEIRD WORLD The oldest gorilla in the world just celebrated his 65th birthday. Fatou the gorilla has resided in the Berlin Zoo since he was two years old. Now that he is at retirement age, he should consider moving to a zoo in Florida. CRACKED.COM

Twitter 

The receipt for invisible art was sold for over $1 million.

A receipt for invisible art sold in 1959 was auctioned WEIRD WORLD off for $1.2 million. TOT AAL H 2 I SUBTOTAL TOT AAL 7,0 PASHOUDERBON Kassarr Winkelnr: Boekingsperiede: The receipt is the only indication that the art exists and who the owner is, making this Referentle: 6224 2259912 document possibly the first NFT transaction MAESTRO (A00000000430601 Pas: Pasor: MAESTRO BET TALING Datum: /05/2016 8 17 a Transmr: VERITY Totaal: 7.04 EUR Qtid: 14669 some 60 years ago. Bank 1801.00 1009 7.04 PINNEN 0.00 TERHA 25/03/2016 13:45 BONUS CRACKED.COM

Sothebys 

A company leased dogs as if they were cars.

WEIRD WORLD Collections agency threatened to take away a woman's dog, who she had unknowingly been leasing. Monterey Financial Services LLC leased dogs to Boston residents who didn't know they wouldn't own them. The MA attorney general is making the company transfer full ownership of the dogs to hundreds of residents. CRACKED.COM

Boston

An employer is being sued for disability discrimination after throwing a birthday party.

WEIRD WORLD A business gave one of their employees a birthday party against his wishes, and now owe him $450k. An employee of Gravity Diagnostics told his office manager that throwing a party for him would trigger a panic attack, but they threw one anyway, and then fired the man when he reacted the way he warned. CRACKED.COM

WLWT 

A mass shooter’s home movie is being sold to raise money for his victims.

WEIRD WORLD Proceeds from a home made film by Denver shooter Lyndon McLeod are going to his victims. The 47 minute movie titled Warhorse seems to show preparation for last December's shootings. It is being sold on the killer's website by a former friend that tried to warn police a year ago. CRACKED.COM

Denver Gazette 

An art teacher decided to speedrun getting fired from a middle school in Florida.

WEIRD WORLD An art teacher called in sick one week after being hired, then showed up to disrupt student assessments. Martin Reese arrived at the middle school with large speakers to blast music while kids were taking the FSA test. Police were called after Reese refused to turn the music down and took off his shirt in the school courtyard. CRACKED.COM

Click Orlando 

The legacy of a busty bartender from the ‘50s is getting complicated.

WEIRD WORLD The unlicensed likeness of a bartender famous for serving drinks balanced on her chest has rocked Des Moines. Exile Brewing Co. says it is being targeted by Sen. Tony Bisignano, who they claim is an heir to the bartender's estate, culminating in a parking lot threat and restraining order. CRACKED.COM

Iowa Capital Dispatch 

Fake grass still needs real care.

WEIRD WORLD A Somerset worker was recorded mowing artificial grass on a roundabout. The plastic grass cover had been sprouting weeds, so a council worker used a weed-whacker to deal with it. Somerset Council said further training will be provided to their workers, who should be pulling weeds by hand. CRACKED.COM

BBC 

A dolphin dies after being used as a mechanical bull.

WEIRD WORLD A beached dolphin died after a crowd tried to ride the stranded animal. As people in Texas' Quintana Beach pushed the animal back into the water, some in the crowd took the opportunity to try and ride it, like they were in The Little Mermaid. The dolphin didn't make it. CRACKED.COM

NBC 

Nickelodeon takes threats of arson very seriously.

WEIRD WORLD The police were called on a Twitter user for threatening to burn down the Kid's Choice Awards. NICKELODEON MEZCO MEA ATCHMEN Hotgirlbookshelff on TikTok alleges Nickelodeon sent the cops to her door after she tweeted that she would burn down the nickelodeon headquarters for not inviting JoJo Siwa to the Kids' Choice Awards. CRACKED.COM

WIBX 

The Whipped Cream bandit strikes again.

WEIRD WORLD Multiple people have been pied with plates of whipped cream by a YouTube prankster. Officers said a woman was walking on the sidewalk, pushing her child in a stroller, when a man hit her in the face with a plate of whipped cream. CRACKED.COM

WSPA 

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